Posts Tagged ‘san francisco’
a rehashing of SFO (get it?)* »
Thursday, June 18th, 2009
First, let me address the absurd stereotypes I brought up last week. Gold nuggets are surprisingly hard to come by, land sharks are oddly docile and I forgot to mention Facebook. (The rest are dead on.)
On with it. The city is gorgeous, weather while we were there was stunning and we packed in a ton of stuff. So you don’t get bored, go to the usual place and view the snaps. For the rest of you, here’s a quick breakdown:
- California Academy of Sciences
- Napa Valley (including Peju and other mediocre tastings)
- Golden Gate Bridge
- Piers, a ton of them (What’s with all the coastal towns and all the piers? right?)
- Medjool, Little Baobab, Double Dutch, Oyagi, etc.
- Cable Cars
- Haight Street Festival
- de Young Art Museum
- Baker Beach
It was great fun and a nice reprieve from the day-to-day stress of… well… sitting around trying to find something to do? Thanks to Leah, our host, who doesn’t read this.
The highlight, for me, was attending a Facebook-sponsored event. Just don’t get that sort of stuff around here. Next stop, North Carolina? NYC? Poverty? Stay tuned for all the dicey details.
* If you didn’t get it, not to worry. This is quite possibly the most ambiguous and pathetic attempt at a marijuana reference ever recorded on the interweb. Still, no apologies.
to the golden gate »
Thursday, June 11th, 2009
Late this morning and through Monday, Girlfriend and I will be in San Francisco. I’ve never been (so many places never traveled to…) and am quite excited to see the place. Here are my assumptions* going in:
- It resembles an American Australia, founded on getting criminals as far from civilization as possible (until civilization caught up).
- Most things can be bought with gold nuggets (cash is frowned upon).
- There are land sharks (patrolling for any misguided tourists trying to escape from Alcatraz before the tour is finished).
- High speed chases occur, on average, on the hour every hour.
- Parks are filled to brimming with unwashed, dread-locked Phish fans in various stages of public coitus.
- Many places smell of body odor. (The rest smell of weed.)
- Two or three families live under each roof.
- One in every 3.243 people are gay or pretending to be in order to fit in.
- Earthquakes hit every three minutes but no one notices.
- 82% of the population works for Google, Apple, Amazon or [insert other tech giant here]. 3% are bicycle messengers. 16% have are unemployed (preferring a hand-rolled cigarette to a cubicle). (64% never took math.)
We’re hoping to get some sight-seeing in and will be headed to the Harmony Festival. Basically, I’m leaving the epicenter of MSP hippie to the epicenter of US hippie and going to a hippie festival. (One can’t get enough corporatized free love, I guess.)
Granted, as I’ve never been, I am completely could be wrong. I’ll try to relay some true-to-life details once I’m back… If I remember them after leaving the thick haze of second-hand toke.
* Based solely on television, (too many) movies, personal bias and a solid grasp of public-school-provided US history.