Posts Tagged ‘m. night shyamalan’
thoughts on: the happening »
Thursday, November 27th, 2008
Happy Turkeyday folks. Hope you’re enjoying it with all those you love, most adore and the assholes or creeps that come with them. Also, tryptophan-induced drowsy is a myth. If someone uses that as a lame zing, call him/her on it.
Anyway, on to the dismantling of a pathetic offering from that one dude with the plot twists. (May contain spoilers! If you care.)
M. Night Shyamalan needs to sort his shit out. The main selling point of this one was that it was rated “R” (odd, given it’s at pre-middle school comprehension) and that he directed Sixth Sense (1999) and Signs (2002). Which proves he couldn’t care less what he’s doing anymore. As long as it more or less fits in the formula:
Big name, mediocre-to-lame actor + lesser known, better actor + random, hollow idea thought of recently while reading/watching television – quality writing + himself + glaring clues + “twist” ending based on said clues = Hollywood gold.
How that applies: Mark Wahlberg + Zooey Deschanel (though she’s not so hot in this) + mysteriously dying bees, plant chemicals – silence (filled with blah instead) + voice of random dude + pronounced wind, ridiculous hippies, entire first scene of Wahlberg teaching, etc. + (well, technically there wasn’t a twist, just yawn) = $30mill opening weekend.
A look at the numbers tells the story. After the first two weekends, no one wanted to see it. That’s word of mouth. The direction is juvenile, dialog is fucking terrible, acting is dismal and a Samsung OLED is thicker than the premise.
Every new release is worst than the last. If Shyamalan keeps this up, he’ll be boring third graders by 2015.
Other applications of the MNS formula:
Sixth Sense: Bruce Willis + Haley Joel Osment + pergatory – (okay, liked this movie; not going into writing) + no-name doctor + locked doors, distant wife, kid who sees dead folk + whoa… = almost $300mill
The Village: Joaquin Phoenix (before Walk the Line) + Bryce Dallas Howard + cults, religious extremists – stereotypes, boring monster stories + guard + fear mongering, elders, crazy freakoids + a highway? = $115mill
Lady in the Water: Paul Giamatti (slight exception, as he’s the shiz) + Bryce Dallas Howard + fairy tales, legends + neighbor + children’s story, everything else + duh = $42mill