Posts Tagged ‘local news’
get in your car, everyone’s dying! »
Wednesday, April 28th, 2010
I watch the local news. I don’t watch the local news closely. The former is because I don’t have cable, the latter because it’s universally terrible.
Exhibit #328: Piles of dead people on the roads.
There’s an epidemic of drivers and their passengers ending up dead around here. (If fourteen people out of millions is an “epidemic.”) The local news is on the case.
Of course, it’s not that drivers would have been better off not being idiots. Instead, the state needs to interfere to make the roads safe (for idiots to risk their lives on).
Monday’s newscast used a lead-in that amounted to: “What are officials doing to keep you safe?” Here’s the write-up about Sunday’s fatal fender-bender out in nowheresville (which they were alluding to).
Briefly, one sixteen-year-old driver was out two and a half hours past curfew with two more people than permitted. The other was driving with a revoked license. And the roads were wet.
Those jerk officials better get on it. It’s entirely their fault.
Local “journalists” could blame the number of cars on the road or how many trucks, fueling our consumptive needs, share it. Hell, we could blame drivers for being idiots.
Instead, carmakers make cars easier for idiots to drive. They give the illusion of safety and fill their cabins with audio and visual distraction.
Brilliant.
We don’t hold idiots accountable; we provide them tools to increase their idiocy. Local officials did all they could to keep these idiots alive.
Thanks, local news, for really hitting the issue where it counts.
One caveat. This is only one example. I’m sure the other accidents were caused by state-employed men in reflector vests directing teens into oncoming traffic while they sexted.
Note: I realize I’m getting heavy on posts about stupid drivers. If you’re tired of reading such things, get me cable. (Seriously, buy me cable.) Also, I am not counting myself outside of the idiots. In fact, as an idiot driver, I feel it’s my duty to call out my co-idiots on a regular basis.
Photo courtesy Car Insurance Tips Blog
why isn’t everyone talking about this? »
Thursday, December 4th, 2008
Local news is desperate for reports that don’t involve stabbing, shooting or foreclosure because they’ve given themselves a rough reputation. So why is this story so hard to find? I mean, who doesn’t want to talk about a porcine mob?
Short story shorter, a semi tipped this morning. It was carrying 100+ pigs and a few cut and run. Then troopers spent time wrangling the mob. After a brief mention on NPR, I could only find it on KSTP (video below).
They’re missing a big opportunity here for pun-soaked headlines and comments:
- “Trucker claims his driving had nothing to do with the ensuing drove.”
- “Traffic this morning saw a new gilt-ed age.”
- “Today’s commute was anything but a boar.”
Turns out I’m fucking terrible at writing headlines. Who knew? (Everyone.)
All that came close was the anchor in the studio dropping, “after the semi spilled its load,” before tossing it to the correspondent (If you’re laughing, please stop reading this blog; it’s inappropriate for twelve-year-olds.)