While I was watching the Packers barely edge out demolish the Bears on NBC.com it appears MTV was trying hard to be interesting. Having missed it and in a fit of boredom and curiosity, I objectively (haHa!) watched some performances from the VMAs and will now dazzle you with a brief, in-depth (intentional oxymoron) rundown, worst to best. (Click headings to watch.)
Remembering DJ AM
So… I don’t know much about the guy but he worked with famous people and (like so many other “geniuses”) dosed himself to un-breathing. The performance, in kind, featured more people and a song I don’t know (maybe a cover?) that appeared to be the manifestation of a hip-hop’s sigh.
Lady GaGa is psycho
Why do people like this “lady?” Is it the new face? the odd, trying-too-hard-to-be-interesting performances? the mind-numbing lyrics and over-produced, thumping “music?” (Maybe just the giant fire-cracker bra?)
What was I talking about? Oh…
“Her” performance had something to do with her shitty song about being too famous, or whatever. She’s dancing in front of millions (including almost 36% who think it’s a music show) in underwear while complaining that people won’t leave her alone? Thou protest too much…
Beyoncé does her video live, with clone stamp
If I’ve said it a dozen times I’ve said it seven, the Beyoncë thing confuses me. She’s a great singer, adequate dancer and the single most overrated “songwriter” of our age. Her contributions to female empowerment are:
- dropping two members of her group, then two more, to keep focus on her
- being proud of curves, then slimming considerably
- encouraging women to drop ultimatums just after marrying a demigod.
But I digress. The performance is… her “Single Ladies” video… with those background dancers duplicated a few ten times. Oh, and stop the video often and unexpectedly. Outside of proving her hips gyrate and she can pull off a leotard, nothing to see.
Pink travels with the circus
I like Pink. She simultaneously accepts and rejects the pop model. The performance tied directly to her song, showed some daring and was different. Not death-defying or anything but just enough spectacle to be overshadowed by the Diva Beyoncè and her thighs.
Taylor Swift takes the train
No, I’m not saying the performance was better just because Kanye was a douchebag again. She deserved the award and he’s an asshole but the performance stood on its own. Why?
Because it’s adorable, to the point and somewhat elaborate. It embraces pop and has an elegance to it. Who needs fireworks and smoke and lasers when you have a pre-recorded bit and a cab? (Beyoncê?)
Speaking of lasers…
An epic tribute, through dancegasm
Maybe because it was MTV that made him and how big he became, but this was a solid tribute. The videos were well-chosen, the dancing was entertaining and it was conceptually spot-on. (Almost as good as this.)
Then Janet came out and rocked the dance-duet with his projected image over her left shoulder. Epic. He brought pop to another level and it’s been decaying ever since. (Also: The Gloved One was awesome.)
Brooklyn steals the show
Brilliant. No flash. Bare bones music, something MTV has been violently opposed to since the mid-90s. From the walk-out to Beyonc∑ with Lady GaGa wearing a bird’s nest behind her to the lady inexplicably injected into the final seconds of the performance (intentional?), it was all gold.