Posts Tagged ‘inappropriate attire’
how to make money, obviously: »
Tuesday, January 13th, 2009
I’ll preface this by reminding all of you I’m not a medical expert (or even mildly interested).
There are a lot of conspicuous ideas that make people a lot of money. Like, for instance, creating a dating service online. There are few more obvious than “Full Bar.” (Related: Try and think of a more transparent name without falling into a coma or drooling.)
Stomachs, no matter how morbidly obese or model thin (read: skeletal) you may be, are only so big. They stretch but usually return to their original size. They can’t discern liquid, solid, orange juice, battery acid or stainless steel.
That this guy, Dr. Michael A. Snyder, MD, FACS, is going to make money on something so glaring is depressing. What have we come to? I’m absolutely stunned we’ve grown so complacent in being top of the food chain.
To add insult to ineptitude, he’s dressed in scrubs. Fucking scrubs! What, Mike, your title and introverted demeanor wasn’t enough to convince us you’re a terrible surgeon that takes far too much pride in cutting into obese people? You had to drive it home by wearing your pajamas to your photo shoot/commercial filming?
Here’s my uninformed advice:
- Have a granola bar and large glass of water twenty minutes before your dinner.
- If you’re eating out, eat only half your entree or order an appetizer.
- Consciously eat about half your normal ingested amounts.
- Don’t snack excessively and avoid high-sugar/high-fat foods.
- Never, EVER!, subscribe to some idiot’s nutrition bars for $150+.
- Spend half an hour each day (broken up as you see fit) not sitting on your ass.
- Mail me your thanks in $10 increments for each two pounds of excess fat you lose.
If you’re out there looking for an idea, think desperation. Anything where someone’s nearing their breaking point will have a massive profit margin. Bonus, there are thousands of things that lead anyone to that point. Be creative!