Posts Tagged ‘holidays’
this wildman is off the grid »
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
For the holiday, I’ll be heading back out to Wildman with the boys. Just when I’m about sick of trying (and failing) to find a job, it’ll be nice to be off the grid for a minute or two.
Whatever you’re up to, remember to celebrate our two-hundred-some years of sovereignty. Remember all those times we fought bravely to destroy the sovereignty of others and how few of us have the freedom to enjoy our own. (w00t, as they say.)
I’ll be completely in the rough. I’ll only have a multi-room house, my iPod Touch, a television, cases of beer and a half dozen cars to remind me of civilization. It will be terrible.
Catch ya’ll after the break when you’re all refreshed. Or overworked, depending on your profession.
Photo courtesy Four Seasons Cottages and not at all accurate
gifts deserved »
Tuesday, January 6th, 2009
As promised, here’s the first part of my holiday break. You don’t care but I’m not going to just drop a recap of my time south of the border into your laps. That comes soon.
I don’t know how the fat old man was to you, dear readers, but he hit me up big. Muchos gracias (was just in Mexico; rubbing too hard?) mi amigo. I hope you all enjoyed the used-to-be-religious-now-materialistic holiday.
I had great times with my friends from way back. We met at T’s house and threw down a nice little shindig. TinkTrace was there, as were many others. We missed Nut and Zook though. (They were busy with family and a wedding or something. Yawn.)
Christmas Eve night, Girlfriend and I hung out with her parents. I went to church (no; seriously), had an awesome dinner and played Pictionary and Charades. I’m terrible at the latter (wicked at the former).
We opened gifts and my lack of fashion sense vomited forth like so many scarabs from a mummy’s lips. Girlfriend’s parents got me a sweet winter coat and Girlfriend got me a bunch of wearables. (Now my attire nearly matches my inflated ego.)
Then there was lunch at my parent’s place on Christmas Day. Most my immediate family came out for snacks, sandwiches and some gifts. I found candy, Shut the Box and some other awesome. (Most of my gift is wrapped up in the flight to AU in a few weeks.)
Most of you can attest to my usual vacuous bravado and egotism but I don’t mean to brag. The gifts were generous and thoughtful (on top of, in some cases, wildly expensive). I don’t deserve them. So they serve as motivation to suck less in the coming 364.25.
Anyway, that night we went back to Girlfriend’s parents’ for their party. I got some tips on AU, good food (especially the banana bread) and good conversation. What more can you ask for from the holidays? (Answer: nothing you spoiled heathens.)
Early the next morning, Girlfriend and I took off to the land of pesos, tacos and Heidi Montag (speaking of vacuous)…
thoughts on: the BTAAs »
Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008
It’s that time when stockings are hung with bargain bin knickknacks and well-meaning, soon-to-be-returned-for-credit gifts pile under the faux-pines decorated with fire-safe shiny things. The television flickers with ads for post-holiday sales, constantly pressuring to buy, buy, buy. A Christmas Story is on. (Always.)
How did I choose to escape the advertising assault and corporatist tsunami? Girlfriend and I went to the British Television Advertising Awards. (How’s that for paradox?) Go figure.
Most were entertaining, some were incredible and few were fantastic. Watching the Cadbury Gorilla in full theater effect was transcendent. Here’s a quick run down of a few notables:
- … There was one where a woman dressed in red went through various parts of her day. The images were then sliced and flipped through frame by frame (read: flip-book) so she appears to do cartwheels. It was sort of cool.
- … One of the first ones showed a ton of things being tossed from the oceans. Things like shipwrecks, fallen statues and trash. The effects were adequate and the concept was fun until the sell. It was a spot for Smirnoff, claiming it was pure because of distilling or something. This pronouncement ignores that Smirnoff tastes like pig scrotum. Decent concept though… you know… if a good brand were to try it.
- … Battle, a spot for Mail on Sunday, was entertaining. As long as you believe archetypes are the only possible tool in advertising. If you think originality counts for anything, you’ll get a migraine watching the sport-obsessed, childish men taking on the superficial, toy-dog-owning women fight it out.
- … And my second favorite of the night was “Key to Reserva.” It’s a web promotion, based on an hilarious premise. Martin Scorsese is going to create a film from a script that’s only three and a half pages long, written by Alfred Hitchcock. The music, the angles, the scenes, the effects. I was laughing almost the entire nine and a half minutes. Here, for your viewing pleasure (none of you are really working this close to Christmas are you?), “Key to Reserva:”
At 7:13, I nearly pissed myself.
dog, the discount shopper »
Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
Monday, I mentioned the new JCPenney lame in Quick Thoughts (here comes the “more” even sooner than expected). If you didn’t watch the video there, watch below. It’s about five (long) minutes:
Men are fuckwads in need of women to scold them until they realize the awe inspiring power of giving them (discount) diamonds. Oh how stupid men are and how patient and nurturing women are. What a great world of redundant stereotypical this is. (Yawn.)
Marketing is desperate for something new because no one cares anymore. Sarcastic, absurd and subversive campaigns are all they’ve managed. Now, as @alisamleo says on The Web is Social, they have far more powerful tools and are still coming out with this lame. (Seems it should be easier to sell the world’s most prolific consumers more stuff.)
I’ve gone into the “diamond issue” before so I’ll just ask: are we, as consumers, supposed to be swayed by pathetic, sexist, buzz-word-marketing afterthoughts like this? If so, here’s how every marketing meeting from now ’til you’re dead will go down:
Boss: Our sales are knee-deep and the holiday season predictions are dismal. What do you have for me? Think out of the box people! Take it to another level.
Marketing manager: (Stands up, totally stoked to prove he’s on a new level) We’ve already started running with the concept. We have an incredibly long commercial because we aren’t constrained by television airtime. We’ll put it on a promotional microsite—my daughter loved Out-of-Your-League-Girl. It’ll go viral in no time. We’ve got great visuals and incessent, repetitive talking points to really drive it home.
Marketing underling: (Excitedly passes note that reads, “tell him about the [interactive feature]“)
Marketing manager: We’ve even got another section of the site that will display uploaded photos and SMS messages. It’ll be great for those users that fit easily into one-dimensional architypes.
Boss: (After making a series of checks onto his notepad list titled: “Buzz-isms”) Is it web 2.0? What about Facebook?
Marketing underling: I have a profile. We could…
Marketing manager: They have [Feature like Facebook Connect] now. We can add it to the site and have users add their contacts so we can then draw them to the site. It’s a call to action that will viral all over the outside of the box!Boss: Sounds incredible. Go with it. Keep it simple.
Marketing underling: We could use it to add social features and create an experience…
Boss: That’s not keeping it simple. You’ve lost me. Stick to the “add contacts” thing.
Marketing underling: … but how does that engage the audience, develop a relationship?
Boss, Marketing manager: (In unison) I don’t understand the question
give a man a passport… »
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008
And he’ll question his tethers to his faltering homeland. Teach a man to travel and he’ll spend all his money getting the hell out of that homeland as much as fucking possible. (Isn’t that how it goes? I was never one for readings from the Book; twas too abstract and fanciful for my tastes.)
As much as I love it here compared to, say, Uganda, it’s no secret I have some issues with my nation of residence (see: previous post). Add to that, Girlfriend has an itch for travel as contagious as the Herp and Youngest Sister studying out in Australia. (Elitist!) The result?
Sunday, Girlfriend and I booked a trip down to Cabo San Lucas betwixt the holidays. At the end of January, we (with the addition of Younger Sister and friend) are headed to Sydney. Last night we even looked at pricing for a trips to San Francisco and the east coast (involving DC, Delaware and Charlotte).
My experience with travel is limited but now I’m very much addicted. Previously, there were family road trips (Yellowstone, St. Louis, Orlando, etc.), a school trip to DC and a couple dips in LA. In fact, I may enjoy the planning of trips a little too much.
I can only assume I’ll come back to February with all of my skepticism, rational ideals and assumptions shot to shit. I’ll probably be patriotic to the point of tattooing a flag lapel pin to my chest. Because, and this is just me presupposing as inexperienced, foreign soil must be poisonous and horrifying.
I imagine I’ll see why a single payer option for health care fosters puppy kidnapping. Or how diplomacy crushes the innocence of toddlers. Or how economic responsibility leads to domestic carpet bombings and rampant illegal drug use among tweens. Or how gay marriage sparks infertility and manifests demon beasts who maul pregnant woman.
If anything, maybe I’ll see that we’re (the most powerful and richest country on earth, supposedly) implementing some of the world’s better ideas. Because if we aren’t, we must look like a bunch of arrogant fucks.
Man, I can’t wait to have some perspective and to be metaphorically beaten to tears by my worldly self.