Posts Tagged ‘full house’
to the golden gate »
Thursday, June 11th, 2009
Late this morning and through Monday, Girlfriend and I will be in San Francisco. I’ve never been (so many places never traveled to…) and am quite excited to see the place. Here are my assumptions* going in:
- It resembles an American Australia, founded on getting criminals as far from civilization as possible (until civilization caught up).
- Most things can be bought with gold nuggets (cash is frowned upon).
- There are land sharks (patrolling for any misguided tourists trying to escape from Alcatraz before the tour is finished).
- High speed chases occur, on average, on the hour every hour.
- Parks are filled to brimming with unwashed, dread-locked Phish fans in various stages of public coitus.
- Many places smell of body odor. (The rest smell of weed.)
- Two or three families live under each roof.
- One in every 3.243 people are gay or pretending to be in order to fit in.
- Earthquakes hit every three minutes but no one notices.
- 82% of the population works for Google, Apple, Amazon or [insert other tech giant here]. 3% are bicycle messengers. 16% have are unemployed (preferring a hand-rolled cigarette to a cubicle). (64% never took math.)
We’re hoping to get some sight-seeing in and will be headed to the Harmony Festival. Basically, I’m leaving the epicenter of MSP hippie to the epicenter of US hippie and going to a hippie festival. (One can’t get enough corporatized free love, I guess.)
Granted, as I’ve never been, I am completely could be wrong. I’ll try to relay some true-to-life details once I’m back… If I remember them after leaving the thick haze of second-hand toke.
* Based solely on television, (too many) movies, personal bias and a solid grasp of public-school-provided US history.