Posts Tagged ‘download’
the ruins »
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
… is wrong in all the wrong ways. The book… oh my, the book. There was so much right with the Ruins on paper and it just crumbled and mutated and vomited on celluloid. It went from dramatic, exciting and intoxicating to boring, yawn and toxic.
Sure, the acting was mediocre and the direction was blah. Fine, that’s to be expected. But the story was adapted by the fucking author? How does it get so impressively wretch? The wrong people were used in the wrong ways and the story was paced too predictably. And the end. Holy hell. I’m not getting into it, but I’ve never seen anyone try so hard to make something suck as the ending of this one.
Granted, as a movie seen without reading the book prior, it’s probably not terrible. I just had the misfortune of having expectations that were immediately taken into a dark, damp room, cinematically raped and left for dead.
***
jumper »
Thursday, June 5th, 2008
… was what all of you expect. I have this thing for teleportation. It’s easily the best super power. No question. And I’m a fan of super powers, so really it’s an obvious progression. Seeing this movie was inevitable, I guess, is what I’m saying.
It follows David, who learns at fifteen that he can transport himself anywhere he’s been after falling in a river and ending up in a library. He leaves and we fast-forward eight years to him living in New York and being loaded. He’s being chased by jumper-haters and goes back to save the girl he still loves, Millie.
The direction is solid. I like the idea of the scars and the effects were better than I expected (purely the teleportation; the shots of him on iconic monuments were pretty thick on cheese). The concept is decent but it takes a ton of belief suspension.
Rachel Bilson isn’t much of an actress, but she’s fun to look at and for a movie such as this the acting is tertiary at best. The scenery is entertaining and the action sequences come together well enough. It’s all pretty superficial, but has some deeper moments. It also makes a sequel completely impossible while wrapping itself up nicely (probably waiting to see how much bank they’ll rake before locking in a second), which is always a nice trick.
***
1408 »
Thursday, April 24th, 2008
… is predictable, pathetic and generally uninteresting except for a couple make-you-jump moments and a thin layer of suspense probably derived almost completely from the confined space of one hotel room. Cusack (High fidelity, being john malkovich) isn’t really that interesting and the story is ridiculous.
Remember (none of you remember) back when I said Stephen King was a genius? Well, he still is, I think, but ever since Dreamcatcher, the movies that spring forth from his pages have been impressively terrible.
The acting isn’t the worst and the effects are entertaining, but the story lacks any purpose. This may be because they were basing their entire plot on a short story by King and couldn’t extrapolate an hour and a half out of it. Still, they didn’t even really put the effort into what they were trying to say. It was just a bunch of ghost story redundancies and vague allusions to a message they all forgot.
If you want to be scared, this isn’t for you. If you want to be challenged, this isn’t for you. If you want to watch a good movie, look for something else.
*
dan in real life »
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
… was a tour de force for Steve Carell (Little miss sunshine, 40-year-old virgin). The characters were witty, unique and well developed. The story was heart-warming and all ages could relate. Really, this was just a fine film all around.
Sorry. I’m ahead of myself. That was me in twenty years talking. The me now says this movie was trite, predictable to a fault and generally uninteresting on too many levels to let slide. The characters were a mishmash of hollywood stereotypes and the story had so many film clichés as to be almost laughable. The direction was boring and the acting was generally (Carell was actually pretty solid) was lame. Dane Cook was terrible, per usual.
Down-and-out widower who’s still heart broken has happenchance meeting in a bookstore with the perfect woman who is already seeing someone else on an annual trip to visit his quirky family. One of his daughters is mature, looking for independence. Another is immature, but thinks she’s in love. The third, the youngest, is far too smarter than most of the other characters. He has two super-macho brothers, an all-knowing mother and an understanding, wise father.
The family is confined to a small cottage where beds are packed wall-to-wall and Widower has to sleep in the single bed along with the curiously-always-running-at-night dryer. The close quarters, coupled with a dramatic and completely predictable twist, make for awkward story telling and conversations.
For all its lame, there are a few laughs and the story will probably be more poignant when I have teenage daughters of my own. Or something. Whatever, talking in the now, the movie is too stale for my tastes, but may do for a night in when you’re not looking to be challenged.
**
my blueberry nights »
Monday, April 21st, 2008
… is like stopping into Chino Latino after nine on a Friday. Therein, I’m bombarded by people attempting to appear as cool as they think they are. It’s pathetic and depressing. Watching this movie had the same feel. Unfortunately, the story itself was pretty good. It was bogged down with too-cool direction and lame audio (the DVD may fix this).
First, the good. The acting was decent enough, but the accents were pretty dismal. Portman’s (Closer, v for vendetta) attempt at ultra-cool was a bit strange, but Weisz’ (The constant gardener, runaway jury) southern drawl was terrible. Law (I [heart] huckabee, road to perdition) had the benefit of a simple character with a British accent. Jones, in her first acting role, was somewhat impressive. She didn’t have much for emotional range, but Julia Stiles still finds work, so that may not be a prerequisite.
Also, the story was quite good. It was entertaining. It was predictable in a lot of ways, but kept me interested. However, it lacked realism. Elizabeth (Jones) goes across the country without faltering or really being challenged. It was more about the off-beat characters than her personal transition. Which doesn’t ring true as far as character-developing-journey-films go.
The direction was ridiculous. It’s a visual representation of those people that have to stop by each painting in a gallery to talk about the symbolism because they watched da vinci code once. The camera is sitting on the opposite side of the painted shop window to the conversations for half the movie. And ooh… melting ice cream on blueberry pie… exotic! … meh.
**