Posts Tagged ‘download’
UTDR: street kings »
Wednesday, October 15th, 2008
Detective Paul Diskant: So we’re just gonna go in there and kill them?
Tom Ludlow: No, I’m going to ask them some questions. Then we’re going to kill them.
…that pretty much sums it up. the movie’s all about keanu reeves striving for the worst actor on earth prize while a dozen or so token bit characters try for the same. common, cedric the entertainer, jay mohr and the game round out a cast of b-list or far below lame.
in order to avoid going over the entire story, it’s every cop drama you’ve ever seen without acting, direction, thoughtfulness or effort.
here’s how I imagine the screen play came about. james ellroy of LA confidential fame, Kurt Wimmer recruit and Jamie Moss she’s new needed something to remind people they were still alive after black dahlia and ultraviolet sucked ass. they took an afternoon to watch their own movies and then training day, taking notes.
they vomited cliché phrases, over-acting and uninteresting, then wrote in some trite lame. i can only assume they were drinking heavily at the time. they tossed in too much foreshadowing and character flaw and a plot twist as intense as a bouncing horse outside of K-mart.
instead of trying to convince an established actors to take the helm, they took one solid actor and surrounded him with mediocrity enough to bury him. they added a few unnecessarily grandiose city-scape shots and handed it over to the studio. Fox ate it like Oreos and shit it onto a platter for the masses.
it makes bad boys look like casablanca and LA confidential look like a warm nugget of gold. by the time keanu looked off into the sunset i was laughing in hysterics inside, obviously; i don’t emote well.
still… hugh laurie was sweet.
UTDR: slacker uprising »
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
while working, i put slacker uprising in the background. it’s michael moore’s latest forced-viral offering.
i’m less than impressed. it’s a decent movie in respect to political commentary. it’s very … um … micheal moore-esque? it makes a solid point that voter turnout is the key to winning an election. it even makes a push for voting. but it’s far more self-fellating than his other movies.
fahrenheit 911 and bowling for columbine were both entertaining, about the message more than the man. slacker uprising is all about how he helped john kerry make a go for it and about bitching against the republican backlash to his pre-’04-election tour. it takes the self-awareness of roger & me and beefs it up (it was dosed with the same stuff that got barry bonds 70+ homeruns).
what concerns me more is that it doesn’t seem to have a point. the strategy around it seems to defeat its own purpose. the interweb is strongly in obama’s favor (thanks mccain, for being so technologically illiterate). to have a video go “viral” (whether you beg users to share it or they think it’s good enough to share) means you’re spreading it on the same tubes that are already voting blue.
yeah, the movie’s about taking to the streets and spreading your message. sure. but screening the movie won’t change anyone’s mind. it just fans the fire of like-minded people getting pissed off again at things that already happened so they bitch to other like-minded friends.
watch red state road trip. it’s more interesting and leaves you with more inspiration to counter red votes.
speaking of voting, do you think mccain was so opposed to looking obama in the eye last friday because he was afraid to see his soul (like bush saw putin’s), thinking the white-hot hope within would melt his face like happened to those guys that saw the Ark? Also.
chaos »
Friday, September 12th, 2008
… is a mediocre and predictable crime drama. Or at least I think that’s what it’s going for. It’s all sort of a mess and it’s not that interesting. The acting isn’t terrible but the story is pretty lame. The action doesn’t really add anything to it either.
I’m a fan of Statham and he does an alright job again but the story isn’t all that intriguing. From the get-go I was looking for the real culprit. Within a half-hour I was already trying to figure out how they’d end it.
****
definitely, maybe »
Wednesday, September 10th, 2008
… is a pretty solid flick for the romantic comedy genre. It plays out like a mix of Scream, Princess Bride and the Notebook in a weird way. It plays against the predictable conventions of its ilk and then goes along with them just as easily.
The story is stronger than most and the acting is adequate. There’s more cheese than I’d typically go for but less than you’d see in… say… any Hugh Grant movie. Reynolds comes off as likable and while the other characters are sort of extreme (sexy, outgoing best friend; perfect meant-to-be-girlfriend; exponentially smarter than anyone their age child; etc) it’s still watchable.
Have some cool fall night to snuggle up with the wife, girlfriend or latest-girl-you-finally-remembered-to-call? Ease this deal into the DVD/Blue-ray/PS2 (respectively) player and have a go. It’s not as boring as you’d think but you’ll have to take my word for it. (Incidentally, Banks, Fisher and Weisz are scintillating.)
Oh. And hell, it has to be better than My Best Friend’s Girl right?
******
idiocracy »
Friday, August 29th, 2008
… is one of the boldest attempts at terrible in recent memory. On all counts, acting, directing, set design, screen writing, etc., it’s dismal. There’s nothing redeeming about the thing. It’s embarrassing that someone would actually make it.
Wait… that’s Dax playing one of the idiots? It’s and Owen Wilson movie not directed by Wes Anderson? Oh. Strike all that. Pretty standard. Exactly what you’d expect.
**