Archive for the ‘recap’ Category
dear craigslist spams, »
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
You’re tactics need some work. While I appreciate your efforts in using absurd, but thankfully different, email addresses, your content has grown tiresome. Please adjust in order to further discourage me in my attempts to sell my now-unneeded PC notebook.
For your convenience, I now list some of your more redundant attempts to separate me from my barely-there cash reserves. (I make no apologies for using your real emails because your inability to use even kindergarten-level grammar offends me.) Thanks.
mariscly@gmail.com:
[after initial inquiry and my quick response]
It’s nice to hear back from you, well I’m about to send you a mail on how we are going to meet later today so i can pay you in cash but I am sorry i wouldn’t be able to make it for the pickup as i have already had in mind to do later today due to the urgent call i just receive from my boss that i have to represent the company on a business issue right away and i will be away for 2 weeks.To show my readiness to have the item for my son as birthday gift,and also not to loose the item to another person,i am offering an additional payment of $200 which will cover the shipping to my son via US Postal Service and the payment will be made through my paypal account.So kindly send me your paypal email or you send me a payment request through paypal so i can proceed with the payment asap.And in case you don’t have a paypal account,i would suggest you open an account with paypal and you can read more on www.paypal.com… I hope to read from you soon and if you have any question,please do let me know.
I almost get it… are you being paid by PayPal? Because you should be.
johnnymoreu@gmail.com:
Thanks for the mail…i was introduced to this site by a friend at
work and i will like immediate purchase of this item for my Niece
‘Bella’ who is away of the state and been requesting for this item…i
will offer you $1050 including the shipping charges to her..there
because she is in need of it as a matter of urgency and due to my work
i don’t have time to handle the shipping..i will want you to help me
handle the shipping very well to her..Get back to me with your
confirmed PayPal email address so that i can send the payment now..
Get back to me a.s.a.p…
Have to wonder why Craigslist warns about PayPal requests, shipping and money orders…
lendfrand2@gmail.com:
IS THE ITEM STILL AVAILABLE?[response]
lendfrand2@gmail.com:
I’m interested in the immediate purchase of this item i will be paying you a sum of $950 i will want to complete the transaction in a very timely manner and i will like you to ship out the item through via USPS EMS SPEEDPOST if you can do this,email me with your paypal id so that i can proceed with payment right away.let me quickly say that i will be sending this unit to my son in WEST AFRICA ,he need this item urgent for his birthday gift,i will be happy if u can email me back now…[response]
lendfrand2@gmail.com:
for the reply,actuelly i live at California,and i would have come for the pick up but am not in the state right now and i want you to do me a favour by sending this item to my son in west africa cuz he needs it for his birthday gift,but if you dont have an account do log on to www.paypal.com and get back to me with email address that you use sothat i can proceed with the payment asap.
You’re in California and your son is in “WEST AFRICA” but you’re trolling MSP listings? Smart.
frankjms7@gmail.com:
Is this item still available,what of the condition.[response]
franklrr3@gmail.com (Notice the different email? Brilliant move.):
Thanks for your response and am glad to know that it is still for
sale.However i have few questions on the products you are selling.1,I would like to know the reason you are selling it…?
2,What is the current condition of the item..?
3,What is your price, though am alright with the listed price..?
4,Do you have the original box and the receipt for it ..?
5,Would you please allow me to pay through PayPal even though i will
be responsible for the fees of the shipping(i will add $200.00),Am out
of town to visit my sick grandma and i would like to purchase it from
you on behalf of my friend whose who needs this.If you do not have a
PayPal account, you can do so by going to www.PayPal.com and set up
your account it is free,easy and guarantee transaction safety.Once you
send me your PayPal email account, I will send you the payment for
your item as well as some money to cover the shipping via USPS Global
Express (3-5days). I would be glad if my request is favorably
considered.
Thank you..
I like this one. Start with a few reasonable, near-human inquiries before jumping into the bullshit. Kudos. Still no.
gnptty577723@aol.com:
Hello Seller,
Is your posting still for sale
RegardsMe: It is. Are you interested? Have any questions?
gnptty577723@aol.com:
Thanks for the mail…im glad to read from you and i want to get it for my kid in hi school abroad, he said he need it as i have to get it for him cos i dont want him to get mad at me i only got Paypal account in which i have money on it and it easy to transfer the fund to yours…so kindly get back to me with your Paypal account info to facilitate the payment first thing today and i will be adding extra $100 for you to send it off to his address,And i will transfer the fund immediately i got your paypal email. so kindly get back to me with your PayPal email address so that i can proceed with the payment for the item and the shipment can be attended to as soon as possible..
RegardMe: I don’t deal with paypal. Sorry for the inconvenience.
gnptty577723@aol.com:
Many thanks for the response……I will advise you to set up paypal account.,paypal is easy,secure and fast way to send and receive money online.Just go to www.paypal.com and register there and get back to me with your paypal email address after you had registered there.okay..I will be expecting your quick response.I live outside the area,so i will need your zip code so i can calculate the shipping cost and pay for you.okay
Thanks
Who in their right mind still believes anything coming from an AOL account? Really? (Spam like it’s 1998.)
nhandsome02@gmail.com:
Hello,I just wanna know if this item is still up for sale and how
much its gonna cost me to get it.
Thanks
Didn’t even justify that one with a response.
tameralewis02@gmail.com:
Do you still have the item for sale,sold or you already dealing with a potential buyer.?[response]
pj064real@gmail.com (again, a separate email):
Thanks for your reply and am glad to know that it is still available for sale.However i have few questions on the product you are selling.
1,I would like to know the reason you are selling it?
2,What is the current condition of the item ?
3,What is your firm price, though am okay with the listing price ?
4,Do you have the original box and the receipt for it ?
5,Do you mind if i pay through paypal even though i would cover the shipping because am currently not local at the moment,Am out of town participating in a research project and i would like to purchase this item from you on behalf of my colleague for the replacement of her crashed computer and i think this is the best thing i could buy her because she did the same when i lost my computer……If you do not have a PayPal account, you can do so by going to www.PayPal.com and set up your account it is free,easy and guarantees transaction safety.Once you send me your paypal email account, I will send you the payment for your item as well as $100 USD to cover shipping via USPS EXPRESS MAIL INTL.
I would be glad if my request is favorably considered.
Thanks
Not getting the response you want? Jumble all the spam ideas into one. Consolidation is the key to still being completely ignored.
stowill4reel@gmail.com:
Hello,am interested in your item let me know if is still available[response]
stowill4reel@gmail.com:
Thanks for the mail…Am really interested in your item and am buying it for one of my company agent in oversea and i will be paying $200 for the shipping via USPS, i will have come to pick it up but am out of town presently, and i will be paying via PayPal course PayPal is secure and safety and fast to send money online so get back to me with the item prize and and your PayPal email account so as to make the payment asap.
Can you believe how nice I’m still being? If only there were a real person getting these messages. We’d be friends.
mickyadrew4@gmail.com:
IS THE ITEM STILL AVAILABLE?Me: It is. Are you interested? (He says, knowing a poorly written algorithm is on the other end.)
mickyadrew4@gmail.com:
I’m interested in the immediate purchase of this item i will be paying you a sum of $900 i will want to complete the transaction in a very timely manner and i will like you to ship out the item through via USPS EMS SPEEDPOST if you can do this,email me with your paypal id so that i can proceed with payment right away.let me quickly say that i will be sending this unit to my son in WEST AFRICA ,he need this item urgent for his birthday gift,i will be happy if u can email me back now…Me: No thanks.
Why did I attach all these to a post? Did you even make it this far? (Congrats if you did.) I meant this post to convey the ridiculous frustration with opening these bogus and idiotic emails regularly. What did I do to deserve this?
I posted an item worth more than $200 on Craigslist.
It’s not worth it, people. It’s not worth it. For fun, and as thanks for making it this far, here’s my favorite…
butch_luvs_roger@hushmail.com (yes… hushmail…):
Oh! My husband’s laptop is so full of viruses that it is horrible!
I would LOVE to get him a new laptop! And with Windows 7!!!
WOW!! Today is my lucky day!My husbands computer virus is so horrible, it reminds me of when I
was diagnosed with AIDS…I keep living it over and
over….UUGH…Talk about taking it up the azz — literally!!I am currently unemployed and my husband is home recovering from
surgery (he had tears in his colon that had to be repaired). So,
we are a little short of money right now. Would you consider the
trade of a lifetime? I have a 16″ Craftsman chainsaw AND a
beautiful 6 foot garden statue that I would love to trade for
your laptop.The details for the Chainsaw are:
Like I said, it is a Craftsman 16″. It worked beautifully until my
husband (before his surgery) ran E-85 in it and it appears to have
given the chainsaw’s engine a permanent stiffy.The details for the Statue:
It is 6 feet tall and is absolutely beautiful! I get goosebumps
every time I look at it – it is so lifelike. It is entitled “Naked
Man Poops Out Gerbil” and is surely a wonderful addition to
anyone’s outdoor retreat!Please e-mail me back with your phone number. Some of my guy
friends said they will help me deliver the statue.Cheers!
Roger
Please, spamming morons, heed this last one, as it at least entertained before it was completely ignored.
If any of you know anyone that could use a 17″ HP notebook that’s running Windows 7 and runs well, get at me. I’d be much obliged to stop these stupid correspondences from showing up in my inbox.
it’s all so pedestrian »
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
As some of you may know, I’ve been involuntarily demoted to the status of a “walker” or “commuter.” Whatever you want to call me, I’m now beholden to borrowed cars, Metro Transit, bicycling or an Enterprise pick-up.
What the hell am I talking about? Right. Well, my car was stolen. (I’ll let that sink in…)
For those that know me IRL (as they say), you know I’ve detested my car for almost an entire year. Having it out of my life is far from devastating (read yesterday’s post; it’ll soon be the norm). But it is annoying.
Thursday, on my way to a party at and around 331 club, my car wasn’t where I parked it… or on any of the blocks I usually park. I called the impound, was told to call back and (after a gracious turn-around-and-pick-up) headed to the party (free Naked Grouse, yo!).
I got back about 10.30p and called again (a little buzzed). No luck. I spent almost ten minutes on the phone reporting it stolen and was finally told a patrol car was on the way. Exhausted and having to be up at 7a, I waited impatiently.
About forty-five minutes later, a uniformed gent wandered up the stairs and I explained the situation (this tweet explains it briefly). He gave me a case number and left. I was not optimistic.
Friday, after a painful wake-up, Girlfriend and I went north to AIGA Design Camp. Delightful (maybe more on that later). The first weekend of many out of town (I’m in MSP maybe over Halloween; the rest I’m other locals) is in the bag and now I’m left car-free and bus-reliant.
I’m calling today to adjust my auto-coverage but I’ll likely be able to say: “I switched to car-less and saved a bundle on my car insurance!”
VMA performances, rated »
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
While I was watching the Packers barely edge out demolish the Bears on NBC.com it appears MTV was trying hard to be interesting. Having missed it and in a fit of boredom and curiosity, I objectively (haHa!) watched some performances from the VMAs and will now dazzle you with a brief, in-depth (intentional oxymoron) rundown, worst to best. (Click headings to watch.)
Remembering DJ AM
So… I don’t know much about the guy but he worked with famous people and (like so many other “geniuses”) dosed himself to un-breathing. The performance, in kind, featured more people and a song I don’t know (maybe a cover?) that appeared to be the manifestation of a hip-hop’s sigh.
Lady GaGa is psycho
Why do people like this “lady?” Is it the new face? the odd, trying-too-hard-to-be-interesting performances? the mind-numbing lyrics and over-produced, thumping “music?” (Maybe just the giant fire-cracker bra?)
What was I talking about? Oh…
“Her” performance had something to do with her shitty song about being too famous, or whatever. She’s dancing in front of millions (including almost 36% who think it’s a music show) in underwear while complaining that people won’t leave her alone? Thou protest too much…
Beyoncé does her video live, with clone stamp
If I’ve said it a dozen times I’ve said it seven, the Beyoncë thing confuses me. She’s a great singer, adequate dancer and the single most overrated “songwriter” of our age. Her contributions to female empowerment are:
- dropping two members of her group, then two more, to keep focus on her
- being proud of curves, then slimming considerably
- encouraging women to drop ultimatums just after marrying a demigod.
But I digress. The performance is… her “Single Ladies” video… with those background dancers duplicated a few ten times. Oh, and stop the video often and unexpectedly. Outside of proving her hips gyrate and she can pull off a leotard, nothing to see.
Pink travels with the circus
I like Pink. She simultaneously accepts and rejects the pop model. The performance tied directly to her song, showed some daring and was different. Not death-defying or anything but just enough spectacle to be overshadowed by the Diva Beyoncè and her thighs.
Taylor Swift takes the train
No, I’m not saying the performance was better just because Kanye was a douchebag again. She deserved the award and he’s an asshole but the performance stood on its own. Why?
Because it’s adorable, to the point and somewhat elaborate. It embraces pop and has an elegance to it. Who needs fireworks and smoke and lasers when you have a pre-recorded bit and a cab? (Beyoncê?)
Speaking of lasers…
An epic tribute, through dancegasm
Maybe because it was MTV that made him and how big he became, but this was a solid tribute. The videos were well-chosen, the dancing was entertaining and it was conceptually spot-on. (Almost as good as this.)
Then Janet came out and rocked the dance-duet with his projected image over her left shoulder. Epic. He brought pop to another level and it’s been decaying ever since. (Also: The Gloved One was awesome.)
Brooklyn steals the show
Brilliant. No flash. Bare bones music, something MTV has been violently opposed to since the mid-90s. From the walk-out to Beyonc∑ with Lady GaGa wearing a bird’s nest behind her to the lady inexplicably injected into the final seconds of the performance (intentional?), it was all gold.
this wildman is off the grid »
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
For the holiday, I’ll be heading back out to Wildman with the boys. Just when I’m about sick of trying (and failing) to find a job, it’ll be nice to be off the grid for a minute or two.
Whatever you’re up to, remember to celebrate our two-hundred-some years of sovereignty. Remember all those times we fought bravely to destroy the sovereignty of others and how few of us have the freedom to enjoy our own. (w00t, as they say.)
I’ll be completely in the rough. I’ll only have a multi-room house, my iPod Touch, a television, cases of beer and a half dozen cars to remind me of civilization. It will be terrible.
Catch ya’ll after the break when you’re all refreshed. Or overworked, depending on your profession.
Photo courtesy Four Seasons Cottages and not at all accurate
less for more, the burger jones story »
Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
Want to have the best burger in town? Yeah… so do I. So Girlfriend, her former roomate and I made our way to the much-hyped Burger Jones.
Initial impression: What the hell? I knew it’d be expensive (it’s a Parasole restaurant) but $10 burgers typically at least come with sides. Still, most of the hubbub was about taste so I can forgive for a delicious patty.
After parusing the menu astonished, we sat in an acoustic nightmare and then ordered. Now locked into our financial sacrifice, the conversation was light. The murmer of the substantial crowd was like turning TV static to top volume so I tuned out and watched SportsCenter across the room.
The burgers arrived on large trays that made the sandwiches look absurdly small (maybe shrink them a bit, BJ). Our menu was as follows:
- Green Chile Cheeseburger—chile salsa, cheddar, onion ring, cilantro
- The Birkenstocker—house-made veggie burger, pepperjack, avacado
- Bacon Cheeseburger—cheddar, applewood smoked bacon (me)
- Faribault Creamery “Caveman” Cheese Curds—beer battered w/ smoked tomato ketchup
All reports point to the chile burger being fairly good. The Birkenstocker fell to pieces somewhere between our table and the grill, then over and over, but was quite good. The bacon cheeseburger was impressive.
Out of it all, the cheese curds took top honors. They were crispy, cheesy, salty and mmm. Everything was over-priced to laughable but definitely delicious. Save your pennies, stop by every few weeks and sample their entire unvaried menu (it should take almost a dozen visits).
With money like that, you pay for the experience right? Not. Worth. It. Go to Bulldog NE for a similar burger (with sides!!) and an atmosphere that blows BJ out of the water.
Photo courtesy: Parasole Restaurants