Archive for the ‘politicish’ Category
Kleenex hates the planet »
Tuesday, April 6th, 2010
There’s no other explanation. Sure, profits are probably important but their last unholy product offering cannot be justified by money alone. They simply hate the planet.
Earth, Gia, Heaven, Our Home: whatever you call it, Kleenex is trying to kill it.
Sure, they use virgin growth forest and refuse all attempts to persuade them otherwise. But tiny noses can’t be bothered with carbon dioxide; they’re fragile! (also: aww, babies.)
The (debatable) softness of their tissues aside, this is deplorable.
What the hell?
I have family that worked in one of their plants in Kimberly (hey, that’s part of their name… go figure). I’m not saying a company based on unsustainable production of wasteful items is necessarily bad (yes I am) but there’s a line.
They didn’t cross it:
- … by replacing cloth diapers with tons of disposable ones. Literally, tons of waste is created (50 million diapers tossed/day) but the convenience and sanitation makes sense.
- … by replacing whatever woman used before Kotex… You know what? Never mind that. Thanks.
- … by selling the convenience of disposable facial tissues over handkerchiefs. Painting them as unsanitary was only slightly evil. (Ignoring idiotic practices.)
They did with this pathetic fear-mongering. The ad has a split screen between their towel-rack hanging dispenser and a standard cloth towel. (I’d show it to you if I could find it.)
While hands of varying size and sex grab a single towel calmly on the right, the towel on the left is brutalized (even by the dog?). Numerous despicable acts are thrown at it, just shy of laying raw chicken on it. A simple laundering will cure all (but that’s so hard!).
Kleenex knows there’s a huge market for lazy idiots. Please, dear readers, don’t become a part of it. The idea that your own towels will give you grotesque diseases is horrifyingly inane (unless you’re a lazy idiot).
In a public setting, I don’t care if you waste the wattage to use the air dryer or the paper (using it or your own handkerchief to open the door). That probably comes to an environmental wash but not in your home.
Because you’re not idiots and you’re not lazy. Right?
the scene, politically speaking »
Friday, March 26th, 2010
Okay, so we have health care reform. It’s change, maybe, but more like my changing from jeans to khakis after landing a contract position than overhauling my wardrobe (which, admittedly, may need some work).
Where does that leave us? Here’s a look at the political climate as I’ve gleaned from lack of insight and caring very little…
Republicans:
Are idiots. But, with this new bill and some other factors (complete dolts as base; distaste for facts, reality and history; a powerful but shrinking upper-upper-upper class; etc.) they may balance things come fall. They’ll maintain their hate-speak to ensure their ignorance aligns with their ignorant base.¹
Democrats:
Are morons. They could have pushed through real reform but were distracted by sand in their vaginas (I imagine). They forfeited nearly all of their ideas (and all of their good ones) and still barely eked out a majority. They’ve weakened their position, which is apparently how they like it.
The President:
Belligerence is tossed in his face and he wants to sit down and talk about it. Then he agrees with most of the poorly-formed points and suggests changes. That sort of discussion is thoughtful, constructive and progressive but he’s the only one who believes in such things. (More sound-bites, sir. Please. The idiots are confused.)
Pundits: (err… “Media”)
They play both sides against each other in a battle of sound bites. While a battle of wits would be more suiting and could benefit us in the long-run, wits are hard to find just now. They’ll go the easy route and let stupid people verbally wail on each other betwixt commercials.
Ron Paul:
With all of his ideas stolen by the Tea Party, then by Fox News and still being shunned by Fox News, he’s fading. Expect him to only last another seven or twelve terms before he retires. (Career politics, while ineffective and regressive, is incredibly gracious.)
Tea Party:
If anyone from this movement is elected, all members (are we calling them “colonists” yet?)² will become infertile like that one country in Children of Men. (::fingers crossed::)
Health Care Industry:
Two words: Cha! Ching! With all the forced profits enhanced enrollment, without any substantial regulation, revoked exemption from trust laws or rejection of the pay-per-service model, things are looking good. (If you have any health stocks, keep them. You’ll need them.)
… That said, the Blues could add functioning health reform to their bill with a series of amendments. The media could shift focus (with the iPad reminding people how to read and all) to collaborative and comprehensive coverage of issues. The Colonists could merge their message into coherent and realistic complaints, sparking debate and true compromise.
Of course, I could also grow my hair into dreads and start working for a hedge fund. Now that I’m eating vegetables and riding my bike to work, anything’s possible.³
¹ I don’t mean “ignorant.” I mean ignorant or grotesquely rich. It’s easier to lump them together.
² Wait, why aren’t we calling them Colonists? They’re racist, abysmally educated and misinformed, not unlike those that lived three centuries ago. The name fits.
³ This is not possible.
the case for CoCo »
Friday, January 15th, 2010
Inferred in the title, I’m a staunch Conan “People of Earth” O’Brien supporter. This does not mean I regularly watch his show. In fact, I rarely see it since I slimmed my subscriptions in Hulu but I watched regularly at first and enjoy his humorist tendencies.
That and his competition is sub-stellar.
David “Ahead of the News” Letterman is a better interview. His bits and monologue are tired but he, especially with guests he sees as inferior, is a master behind the desk (though, James “Your Favorite Curse” Lipton has him beat hands down in overall style).
Jay “Have You Heard This?/Am I Right?” Leno has a tired monologue, uninteresting interview skills but can make fun of stupid people and typos. Jerry “Show About Nothing” Seinfeld is a genius in observing the comedy in the mondane. Leno’s genius is in trying to be Seinfeld.
Craig “Who’s That Guy?” Ferguson has filled the shoes of Craig “Where’s My Mirror” Kilborn well. Still, he’s a complete goof who I have only watched once or twice. He seems to have a following.
Jimmy “Stick Around After Grey’s” Kimmel has a stronger following than Ferguson and seems to have the staying power. At least on his network, which has ratings, I think, from televisions being left on after “Modern Family” or “Grey’s Anatomy” or, in some cases, “General Hospital“.
Because I’m such an impressive blogger*, I’ll even mention Wanda “Rock-Splitting Voice” Sykes and George “I’m Hispanic” Lopez. Neither are original (or funny) but both have shows (Fox Saturday and TBS during the week, respectively) because networks need to advertise pharmaceuticals to insomniac, depressed, middle-aged viewers. (Pills!!)
NBC’s decision to scrap their Tonight Show (a legacy of fifty-five years) for some hybrid option was rightfully opposed by O’Brien (his statement). After only a few months, O’Brien’s show had a younger audience, something coveted by most studio execs (lower proportion on a fixed income = more money = lucrative advertising). In any case, even Leno defended O’Brien’s ratings issues.
What no one’s talking about is how much Leno’s show sucked. I mean, it’s terrible. His monologue is just as abismal as it was an hour and a half later but the laid back format is boring, the interviews still terrible and his choice in up-and-coming comedians doesn’t fit his demographic. He can still make fun of stupid people but is that better than O’Brien?
No.
Mr O’Brien’s intellectually goofy style is more modern and more in-tune with the not-yet-middle-aged audience. It’s fresh and unique in a landscape of desks and couches. Jimmy “Look at My Gadget” Fallon has taken to the role of goofball after-The-Tonight-Show host, Jon “Say WHAAAAT!?” Stewart covers political humor and Stephen “Even I Don’t Take This Seriously” Colbert has a lock on mockery, so O’Brien can work his niche accordingly.
Playing one off the other here, as NBC is doing, provides a ratings boost and then built-in buzz for O’Brien’s next step. This, I’m behind. As long as he moves to a Hulu-friendly network… (who can stay up that late nowadays?)
* You may have noticed I didn’t even make a case for Conan’s staying at The Tonight Show or moving to another network or just retiring. I’m that good.
global warming: solved »
Monday, October 5th, 2009
You may think it odd I can make such a claim, solving the prevailing issue of our days. We haven’t met, call me Draynd.
Anyway… For all those with smog-filled dreams, fret not. I have good news. (Of sorts.) Global warming is likely unavoidable but the blow will be softened. By oil.
Well, technically the lack of it. Black gold has turned Econ majors into bumbling morons. Demand has garnered no supply and has failed to produce viable alternatives, as predicted.
Here are a few fun notes:
- Four million barrels per day (BPD) less come out of the ground each year.
- There are no new worthwhile reserves to make that up (much less add to it to meet demand).
- Producing countries are fudging reserve estimates (probably because their production quotas are based on them).
- ANWR won’t produce 800k BPD until 2028 (even if all environmentalists are shot tomorrow). The US currently consumes 19 million BPD.
- More natural gas use means wells are losing pressure with maturity, proving we’re almost out of dino-puddles.
- Off-shore drilling is a pipe dream (har har) with rigs that barely stand up to category three storms.
- Gulf drills are still producing 250k less BPD than they were before Katrina.
- Producing countries are using more and more oil themselves, reducing exports.
Wind and solar power are far too inefficient. Any talk of hydrogen as fuel should be muted by its exponential cost and that it takes more energy to produce it than it provides, rendering it useless.
(Ethanol is too big a joke to laugh at here. Food costs, scarcity, nutrient and resource depletion, etc. Every subsidized ounce ruins our future. Rapidly.)
Food will be more expensive, exported jobs may return and travel will be cost prohibitive (any variety). “Think global, buy local” will be reality (not a hipster, ironic t-shirt slogan).
Cheap energy looks more like the last bits of milk shake than the mile-high gushers. With it goes the wholesale polluting that started the climate change mess and it will probably slow before the worst comes.
Global warming averted. World saved. What’s next?
Photo courtesy GreenPeace.org
market health care != reality »
Monday, September 14th, 2009
Being the only thing taught in public schools since the Red Scare, most of you probably know of and think highly of a “Free Market.” This blanket assumption has many, many flaws and worse, we’re trying to apply markets where they don’t fit.
Market assumptions are simple. Supply of a good is tracked against the demand for that good and where they intersect is the price. Ignoring for a moment this ignores cost, depletion or waste (as so many do) how does this apply to health care?
A market needs two things: something of value (sometimes tactile) and consumers with choice. Whenever a market is artificially added to a sector without these things, disaster (exploitation, Enron) ensues.
Health care is one of these sectors. Consumers (used generally to label the 98% not able to buy specialist care out of boredom) don’t have choice. They’re sitting across from their doctor and being told their options. If they need an MRI they don’t check the going rate in China or on NewEgg, for instance.
Insurance, medical practitioners, pharmaceuticals and many others are all under the blanket label of Health Care and it’s also something everyone needs. This not only depletes consumers’ choices further but confuses any market assumptions.
Applying a market to a natural monopoly (built, in this case, on high cost, low access and government assistance) never works. When the idea hit the electricity sector manipulation, artificial scarcity, high profits, unreliable supply and scandal were the natural results.
Health care in this country boils down to two things. On one side, you’re for single payer reform and believe health care is a right. On the other, you want to paint a market over a monopoly and see health care as a privilege (though few will admit that).
On whichever side you fall, take a look at Frontline‘s look at six democratic countries with state-backed health care. Ask yourself, why can’t we have a system like Taiwan? Or Switzerland? Or the best parts of both?
In both cases they’re trying to force a market into a sector it doesn’t belong but it’s working for the people, not the companies.
Photo courtesy: SFGate.com