Archive for May, 2009

lost then found, a bit late

Friday, May 29th, 2009

lost and found

Yesterday, you all know, was gorgeous. I spent the majority of it inside (which is my custom) and then ventured out about 2p. It was a big step but barely necessary.

Avid readers (there are, literally, threes of them) will remember my post-Halloween misplacement of my ID (if not, read up). Turns out it showed up on a MetroTransit entity and was turned into their lost and found.

I took the 4 through downtown, listening to a guy and girl compete for who was the dimmer bulb of the two. One was illiterate, the other didn’t know where they were. I only mention this to remind all of you, romance is not dead. (But our species may be.)

After disembarking, I wandered over to the L&F past the in-construction Twins, Target Stadium. Things are moving along nicely, in the humble opinion of someone with no idea. (Some snaps are in the usual place.)

The L&F was an impressive affair. I had to press a button, speak through an intercom and wait for forms and my ID to arrive via steel drawer. I admit, I was taken aback. (Not that I was expecting someone in heavy-rimmed glasses to dig into a worn cardboard box, but still.)

On the walk back downtown and the subsequent ride on the 6, I thought, how did it take so long for the ID to show up behind the intercom? If you do the math (and I didn’t), that’s 203 days, 29 weeks or 6 months and 22days. There are so many possibles for it taking that long…

  • Some mastermind used it to create dozens, if not millions, of low-price IDs for idiot freshman.
  • It was taped to the wall of a bus, asking for redemption, so long everyone forgot about it.
  • An idiot freshman picked it up and used it for a few months before dropping it because he’s an idiot freshman.
  • Someone with a similar haircut, thus looking exactly like me, used it until he came of age and didn’t need it anymore, discarding it anonymously on LRT.
  • … that or it was used for unknown, unsavory activity by any number of shady characters in a long line of untoward individuals before landing in maximum security holding off of 6th Av N.

friday free for all

Friday, May 15th, 2009

… My youngest sister will be back up in MSP next week. She will have two jobs, an internship and gets back to school in the fall. She’s already mocking me. (Sibling rivalry becomes all too real when you’re not getting paid.)

… To stave off a neuron puddle, I’ll be reading more. This includes blogs, non-fiction, magazines, subtitles, you name it. Hopefully I can keep myself mentally ready for any 9to5 that comes my way. (The literary urge may or may not have been sparked by receiving more books from the library than expected due to bad queue management.)

… Girlfriend and I had to make an emergency trip to the MOA Apple Store because her cool-kid-computer tweaked. A terrible idea, this. Not because we didn’t need to go, but I had time to play with the Macbook on display. Ugh.

Someone, (anyone!) let me know if your company is looking for someone to show them the ways of the internets. Hell, need a web designer that can maintain a brand message across dozens of social tools? Need a blogger with a flair for parenthetical thoughts? (No? Are you sure?)

Tell your friends, your parents, your toddlers, whoever. I’d love experience, something to do with my afternoons save for reading (which is too nerd chic for my tastes anyway) and financial stability.

i won’t get fat. i won’t get fat…

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

I found out yesterday I was granted UI benefits. Then, today, I got my first deposit. For those following, that means I can now eat. Unfortunately, that means I need self-control.

It’ll be impossible to go back to my usual dietary schedule—waiting until 5p to eat anything and avoiding nutrition entirely. Now I’m twenty feet from the refrigerator the whole day.

I’ll be sticking to the “diet” I outlined earlier. Essentially, I’ll be drinking water to keep from snacking like those guys that end up with a man-shaped hole cut into their bedroom walls.

No one wants that.

Combined with some trips to the gym, I should be able to maintain a stuck-in-a-soul-sucking-cube figure. Oh. And it’s back to bike season. That could help too.

Still, with my days being open will take some getting used to. I’ve always had mind-numbing tasks or meetings to work around and that I almost always forgot a lunch to control my ingestion habits.

This could be trouble.

medicinal

Monday, May 11th, 2009

She walks past the desk, catching my attention. Her husband sits in a navy blazer over a vanilla sweater over a light-blue button-down and dark tie. Ordinarily strange but less so today.

Thirty seconds pass; I can’t turn away. He’s not dripping sweat? Added to the double amputee and the knitting woman in the ankle brace and adult diaper, his drawn-on, cartoon glasses border on normal.

He’s studying Hebrew, using a Byerly’s bag as a briefcase and wears blue-striped cotton pants. I’m drowning in odd. My insurance expires in days, forcing a halted, unwelcome and extensive medical tour.

I rarely visit the doctor—preferring the emergency room. This is a crash course in the clinical reality play. I have to wonder, Is this the usual cast of characters?

My dismissal was nearly inevitable but abrupt. Since, is a film out of focus with rare, fleeting scenes of foggy. Meals are spiced with uncertainty, anxiety stares at me from the corner.

Days pass without permission.

Dressed in an outfit a grandmother forces on her toddler grandson, the folded handkerchief in his front pocket snickers loudly. Still, it’s strangely reassuring.

He’s employed—maybe a professor, prop comic or seventeenth century author. Whatever the case, if he has a job, I will. A therapeutic mist drifts in from the hall. The fog thins slightly.

ran a marathon. sort of.

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

(973): On a scale from 0 to 24…wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
via Text From Last Night (Amazing site.)

Of course, we all know I’m quite the runner. But I’m talking now of television marathons. I’ve been catching up on series. House M.D., Breaking Bad and Dexter to name a few. These were all amazing (especially the last) but solo experiments.

Then, Sunday, Girlfriend threw on the breathable jersey and nylon shorts to join me for Weeds. This, for the record, was at least semi-voluntary because she was ill. If you haven’t seen it, at least give it a shot.

It occurs to me that a newly widowed suburban mother of two selling pot on the sly fits into a strong theme. All the shows mentioned involve secret lives and two are about drug dealers. (Except for House. Which is awesome.) I won’t read into that further.

With experience under my metaphorical (because I often wear elastic-banded pants nowadays) belt I can lend some smarts to you, my dear readers. There’s a delicate science* to a television marathon.

  • First: never leave without at least two episodes under your belt. (Or three, if you’re watching half-hour offerings.)
  • Second: remember to drop all attempts at productivity before starting. (You’ll just be fooling yourself.)
  • Third: all good television is better in marathon form. Be warned you’ll start to twitch during standard commercial breaks.
  • Four: marathoning anything from ABC or CW will give you retina cancer. (Don’t ask me why, it just is.**)

* I don’t deal in science. Only the black arts.
** Yes, that includes Lost, freaks.