Archive for January, 2009
friday free for all »
Friday, January 9th, 2009
… I had to scrape ice from the inside of my windshield Tuesday night. That’s the most painful “welcome back to winter” bitch slap I’m able to think of.
… Every month, we have an employee newsletter. (Think, “how could an office be more lame?” and you can probably imagine most of the topics covered.) I, (un)fortunately, was chosen this month.
I was emailed a set of questions and I answered most of them, as honest as possible, thinking they wouldn’t take as many as they did. The “interview” is as follows, word for word but for some anonymity-motivated redacting. (Links added.)
- Where did you grow up? [Hometown]. Northwest of Milwaukee.
- What are your plans for the holidays this year? I’m going back to MKE for Christmas, then to Cabo San Lucas until New Years Day.
- What’s on your wish list? Money, clothes and money. In that order.
- If you were not in Marketing at [Employer], what else what [sic] you like to do as a career? Design websites for small and medium sized businesses from somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Or maybe become a retiree. I hear good things.
- What are some of your hobbies? Watching movies, blogging, snowboarding (theoretically) and darts.
- Describe your favorite thing to do on the weekend during Minnesota winters. Relaxing with a movie, a fire and some drinks with a few choice friends.
- What is your order at your favorite restaurant? Juicy Lucy with pepperjack in the center, cheddar on top and jojo’s on the side at the 5.8 Club or a medium meatball and chicken pizza from Fat Lorenzo’s.
- What did you want to be when you grew up? A lottery winner.
- What’s the last concert you went to? Kings of Leon at the State Theater.
- What is the most interesting place you’ve ever traveled to? The NW coast, Portland and Seattle. Which just barely beat out Wall Drug by a few figurative miles.
- What will your News Years Resolution(s) be for 2009? To take certain things less seriously, others more seriously and to enjoy every day more than I’ve enjoyed the last. That, or to lose ten pounds.
… and finally:
It looks like I’m headed to Vegas in March. I have no idea how I’m going to do this but there’s a wedding in the works. (Sacrifices right? ::snicker::)
a step into the future »
Thursday, January 8th, 2009
Considering it’s been far longer since my last dentist’s visit as is recommended, I assumed I’d be shoved into a small (darkened for no reason) room. There, someone would extract all my teeth one by one and tell me to start over.
Instead, I learned I should start flossing so my gums bleed (not kidding). We talked a little about digital cameras (he’s working with a 1.3mgpx from, I think, 1973) and then I had some x-rays, got all cleaned up and was out within a half-hour.
What’s really odd is how I was punched in the ear by innovation:
- The x-rays are all digital. I looked them over with Dentist within in minutes. (Still awkward stuffing a plastic-wrapped wand in my maw.)
- He took a quick pass with the sharp metal doodad instead of digging around for ten minutes. Then used an ultrasonic vibrating wand that took less than five.
- After a quick second pass with the doodad, he bypassed the polishing thingamajig in favor of another spritzing wand. This one pressure washed my enamel with water, air and baking soda.
I didn’t think it’d been that long since my last time-in-chair but now I feel like a retiree handed a digital television conversion box. (Blown. Away.)
Just a couple gripes. The ultrasonic thing was rough. While it’s vibrating away, water jets out of it. This would be fine if it weren’t cold. If anything below ninety-eight degrees hits my teeth my spleen winces.
Then there’s the pressure wash. It’s faster, yes, but it also sprays a pasty grit all over like some sort of Japanese porn shoot gone very wrong. Baking soda tastes terrible and instead of letting me spit it out he shoved that terrifying vacuum tube in my face.
Still, incredibly necessary. These pearly whites (glossy near-grays) are the key to my future. (Not really.)
six days of relax »
Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
Friday the twenty-sixth, I found myself watching the sun set over a different country. This (here’s some redundancy for the threes of you regular readers) was a first. It was strange, magnificent and similar to anywhere else.
The resort is wicked (snaps in the usual places). The rooms are set in separate buildings, white concrete with clay roofs, with a pool, jacuzzi, dining, bar area in the center. I spent a lot of time there.
We hung around with Girlfriend’s aunt and her family the first two nights (our trips overlapped). We walked around the property during the day, taking snaps. We found out how to get to Wal-Mart, wandered into some abandoned near-houses (peso devaluation, divestment, hurricane) and chilled.
Saturday we had lunch at Gardenias, a local dive with the best tacos I’ve ever eaten (sans-cheese no less). Monday we hit the marina (too many too-eager merchants of too much junk), Lover’s Beach (touches both the Pacific and the Gulf of Mexico) and resort row (called the main beach but only about 300 square yards isn’t associated with a bar or hotel).
Monday night we stayed in with some wine. Tuesday night we went to Cabo Wabo to watch old people rip rug to Sammy Hagar and Toby Keith (way more awesome than it sounds). Wednesday was New Years and I spent it on the beach watching two members of Idle Eyes in their new band, wearing a sweater and jeans, drinking Mexican beer.
Thursday we were supposed to leave, which you all know already.
gifts deserved »
Tuesday, January 6th, 2009
As promised, here’s the first part of my holiday break. You don’t care but I’m not going to just drop a recap of my time south of the border into your laps. That comes soon.
I don’t know how the fat old man was to you, dear readers, but he hit me up big. Muchos gracias (was just in Mexico; rubbing too hard?) mi amigo. I hope you all enjoyed the used-to-be-religious-now-materialistic holiday.
I had great times with my friends from way back. We met at T’s house and threw down a nice little shindig. TinkTrace was there, as were many others. We missed Nut and Zook though. (They were busy with family and a wedding or something. Yawn.)
Christmas Eve night, Girlfriend and I hung out with her parents. I went to church (no; seriously), had an awesome dinner and played Pictionary and Charades. I’m terrible at the latter (wicked at the former).
We opened gifts and my lack of fashion sense vomited forth like so many scarabs from a mummy’s lips. Girlfriend’s parents got me a sweet winter coat and Girlfriend got me a bunch of wearables. (Now my attire nearly matches my inflated ego.)
Then there was lunch at my parent’s place on Christmas Day. Most my immediate family came out for snacks, sandwiches and some gifts. I found candy, Shut the Box and some other awesome. (Most of my gift is wrapped up in the flight to AU in a few weeks.)
Most of you can attest to my usual vacuous bravado and egotism but I don’t mean to brag. The gifts were generous and thoughtful (on top of, in some cases, wildly expensive). I don’t deserve them. So they serve as motivation to suck less in the coming 364.25.
Anyway, that night we went back to Girlfriend’s parents’ for their party. I got some tips on AU, good food (especially the banana bread) and good conversation. What more can you ask for from the holidays? (Answer: nothing you spoiled heathens.)
Early the next morning, Girlfriend and I took off to the land of pesos, tacos and Heidi Montag (speaking of vacuous)…
how to cast a shadow over six days in paradise… »
Monday, January 5th, 2009
… add two days in US Airways aero-hell.
I’ll get to the scrotum tearing awesome that is the bulk of my trip a bit later. Today, let me rehash things more fresh on my neurons.
Our flight was set to leave Thursday afternoon, for transfer in Phoenix to Milwaukee. Instead, seven hours was spent waiting on a broken plane (while two other flights took off on schedule) before we were shipped to a family-oriented, Hilton-Express-style all-inclusive with orders to return Friday.
There was an impressively terrible Latin dance show, some unfortunate buffet-style dining and a bunch of tweens that probably popped their first pube over the scantily clad, talent-free dancers. The experience was almost hilarious enough to make the destroyed plans, hectic schedule and lack of worthwhile customer service worth it. (Almost.)
Friday, we arrived at the airport about 8am. We waited until about eleven, took off, and landed. We talked to a few personnel, learned no one below some guy (named Chet in a dark office, taking hits off a 20oz Mountain Dew, offering vouchers on whims) has any actual power and found out there was nothing “they” could do but for $20 in meal vouchers.
Girlfriend and I wandered about the Phoenix airport (Chili’s!), made overdue phone calls and played on their free interweb. For seven hours. After another hour delay (with an awesome bump to first class) we ended up back in Milwaukee about 1.30am.
The experience was what I imagine being scalped is like. I can only hope Girlfriend’s strongly (and well) worded email reaches someone at US Airways (Chet?) to compensate our frustration.
Again, more on the holiday break (a week late) in coming days.