Archive for December, 2008
partnership of convenience »
Thursday, December 11th, 2008
Sen. Huckabee was on The Daily Show the other night. When the Stewart and Co. were here for the RNC, I attended and he was the guest then, too. Huckabee and I are close like this, like brothers or fire and ice.
Sure, religion is virtue because without we’d be animals. Phrases taken literally (without context) from a book of metaphors is the path to pomposity. But, the marriage thing confuses me.
Here’s how I understand it and you can (but won’t) call me out where I’m wrong.
It was born of necessity. We birthed the weakest offspring (ex: giraffes pop out walking) and needed familial structure to survive until we could fend for ourselves (currently, about twenty-four years). Symbolism manifested, conventions were established.
Marriage was arranged, without love and until death (like diamonds). Romans had man-man, woman-woman and pool-boy-anyone relations. Catholic priests could wed until they passed their wealth to children or wives instead of the church. (They’re still marriage counselors, which makes sense if your neurons misfire.)
Polygamy was legal, interracial marriage wasn’t. Divorce is as popular as American Idol. Merriam-Webster already has a secondary definition for “marriage” as same-sex unions without legal sanction.
Marriage has been changed many times. Social environments demand such alteration. Where’d the inflated, righteous concept come from?
The arguments are stale. Procreation ignores the millions of children in shitty homes or awaiting adoption. Our eroding family ignores the lemming-like divorce rate. Religion dismisses much of our history, most of The Book and common sense. (You’d need to do the same if you argued verbiage.)
It seems Huck just thinks homosexuality is a lifestyle choice. To him, it’s akin to wearing pre-faded jeans or misogyny. But we have a black president-elect, so do the progressives just have to wait it out?
These anti-gay folk are getting pretty old. Maybe that accounts for their fervidity. They need to push laws so generations can enjoy the same oppression they remember fondly from their youths.
cattle clubs »
Tuesday, December 9th, 2008
Delicious
Most people eat questionable meats processed by questionable means in factories of questionable cleanliness by underpaid (or illegal) workers with questionable hygiene practices. That’s not an issue if you can ignore bacteria in your spinach or poisonous tomatoes and milk. (Or, if you’re like me, you overcook everything to the texture of damp charcoal.)
But what if you want something that won’t have a tenuous link to your pending bout with cancer? Why don’t we promote quality goods over low-cost carcinogens shipped thousands of miles? Or give incentive not to house your-future-chicken-breast in a too-small cage slathered with avian infection?
Food industries have built their irresponsible practices on the assumptions that consumers can’t buy better for cheaper and oversight is easily skirted. Both are true because most of us are poor and stupid (not you readers, though). We may not be changing (fuck me why aren’t we changing?) but there are existing tools that could change things.
- Farmers (dairy, produce, poultry, etc.) get together using online groups/forums
- Pool their resources
- Create a website with member logins, small monthly dues for local consumers
- Run funding drives ($10 donation, get 10% off next order) and forums to keep members informed, announce specials
- Monthly dues go to feed/slaughter/shipping/misc costs (reduces cost per pound)
- Per-pound profit for farmers would (likely) be more than branding themselves under Cargill, Tyson or [insert megafood company]
They’d provide quality not because of an underfunded, understaffed government office (which would still provide “grades”) but to avoid the backlash if someone’s irked. (Think of the digi-bomb dropped by just a few moms that strapped their children into kiddy-packs.) Such things would kill membership and, subsequently, the cooperative.
To-market cost would shrink while establishing consumer loyalty and involvement. Cavernous consumer meccas like Costco or Sam’s Club already use the idea. Folk wouldn’t necessarily get sushi in Oklahoma or out-of-season fruit in Illinois but maybe they shouldn’t. (Our culture of convenient consumption leaves a lot to the imagination.)
Butchers would be in demand again, small shipping companies could form and all the jobs would be localized. Area crops would be more diverse to meet demand and thus less suseptable to disease-sparked mass failure. Members would get discount, quality meats while putting more into their community.
For those scared shitless of Jan20, 09, this doesn’t rely on government handouts or profit distribution. Farmers won’t be paid not to grow crops or to grow specific crops to help regulate pricing. (Sounds sort of socialist doesn’t it?) Growth is limited by how cost-effective and high-quality the product is.
And no worries, this will never happen. Well, unless there’s total infrastructure collapse, but that’s for posts over at SD&IF.
holiday party blowout »
Monday, December 8th, 2008
Friday, my front end was trying to hop off its chassis and I took a loop around the lake (about 3mi) before realizing my passenger tire had blown out. It was shredded, smoking and generally over being a viable tool of transport.
This was made worse by spending $700+ the day before replacing the front axle, the starter and getting the oil changed for a long drive to northeastern, WI. Obviously, we were forced to take Girlfriend’s car (doing that far too much of late).
Why would an upwardly-stalled, handsome gent like myself head to such a place, you ask yourself over an espresso while listening to the Current? Blood’s thicker than the fear of my near-rural roots, I guess.
The food (especially a batch of meatballs) was good, the bingo was intense and I learned another game I’m not very good at. Shut the Box is probably more entertaining when you have three boxes going with thirty people but you can read the rules here and even play a simple version online here. (You’re welcome.)
While playing, I gave my sister some advice. I told her to “suck less.” This grew into a life philosophy, as things do. This morning, after an epiphany or sorts (a mind wanders while waiting at Discount Tire), I realized where I heard that first (because I have no original thoughts).
Here goes:
friday free for all »
Friday, December 5th, 2008
… Big Brother is following me. (Not the terrible reality show of the same name.) I’m not kidding. On Twitter, after I used the word “hate” (I can only assume), someone with the handle, @2minuteshate, started following me. Unsettling. (Digitally, at least.)
… I spent last night doing laundry and removing/adding/tweaking songs on my Pod. I’m still looking for some albums I caught aural glimpses of on radio and such. In particular (and those that have seen my Book status know this), I’d like to find some Roma Di Luna. They have a few albums/EPs (especially looking for “Casting the Bones“) and if you have any, please let me know.
… Today is office clean-up day. Though the concept irritates me and I’m not exactly sure the point, I’m all for it. I’ve accumulated an embarrassingly large amount of paper and assorted office items. (BTW: Thanks, computers, for promising a paperless office and making it easier for morons to hand me redundant piles of annoying instead.)
I’ll be having pizza for lunch and spending my afternoon tossing un-looked-at papers of varying importance into a giant blue bin. I love my job. (And no, I can’t say that, or type that, with more sarcasm. I tried and my left ring finger started to twitch uncontrollably.)
why isn’t everyone talking about this? »
Thursday, December 4th, 2008
Local news is desperate for reports that don’t involve stabbing, shooting or foreclosure because they’ve given themselves a rough reputation. So why is this story so hard to find? I mean, who doesn’t want to talk about a porcine mob?
Short story shorter, a semi tipped this morning. It was carrying 100+ pigs and a few cut and run. Then troopers spent time wrangling the mob. After a brief mention on NPR, I could only find it on KSTP (video below).
They’re missing a big opportunity here for pun-soaked headlines and comments:
- “Trucker claims his driving had nothing to do with the ensuing drove.”
- “Traffic this morning saw a new gilt-ed age.”
- “Today’s commute was anything but a boar.”
Turns out I’m fucking terrible at writing headlines. Who knew? (Everyone.)
All that came close was the anchor in the studio dropping, “after the semi spilled its load,” before tossing it to the correspondent (If you’re laughing, please stop reading this blog; it’s inappropriate for twelve-year-olds.)