dear comcast dicks,
I’m one of your lowly (premium cable, high-use interweb, digital voice I don’t know the number for) customers. I realize you’re busy so I’ll provide a shortened version: Fuck you!
If you’d like more, please continue reading.
Your On-Demand service was upgraded to sell more dead-air with a branded guide and it blacks out regularly. You’ve boosted interweb to five-years-ago speed. Your content (through producers, obviously) is mostly intolerable (like watching tweens argue over who’s a better MySpace friend). Your attempts to pressure old or techtarded people into buying your service for the switch to digital is admirably abhorrent.
Okay, Okay. You’re right, it’s not just you. All the cable companies and utility providers are shitheads. And yes, we’re using the interweb we do have like toddlers (walking through the library I saw 75% of the screens on YouTube). Still, is that any reason to punish users with sixth-grade-plus usage habits?
What exactly am I paying for? Your service? Your stance against net neutrality? Your product? Your helpful, jovial nature? Not so much… oh. Right. It’s that you’re the only douchebags that can give me the three channels I watch (outside of broadcast) and faster interweb than dial-up or satellite.
For what it’s worth, thanks for that. Thanks for keeping the bar low and expectations lower. Thanks for providing terrible service at vastly inflated prices. Thanks for being just enough as the only one, frustrating and annoying everyone.
Above all, thanks for motivating me to find alternatives to your shit-tastic bundle after my move in the spring.
Contractually, unhappily yours,
Draynd
Note: Our On-Demand was out again last night. I’ve seasons to catch up with. I’m not amused (obviously).