thoughts on: my dismal wardrobe
I was tagged in a few facebook photos recently and had the unfortunate realization that my wardrobe is horrifically limited. This was a blow to the image I had built for myself of being fashionable, compassionate, philanthropic, handsome and chic.*
Taking the snaps as a random and complete sampling of my life never do this; it’s depressing, my wardrobe sums unimpressive. A quarter of the time I’m in a striped polo. I’m strutting around in one of three Billabong t-shirts thinking I’m the shiz once every seven days. I’ve a long-sleeved shirt under that polo or Billabong T more than half the time I blame the climate.
I wrap myself up in a sweater or zip-up more than once a week and a plain white t another 10% of the time. Close to one day a week, my pale, amorphous torso is covered in a $2 “pro athletic” t-shirt. Want another dose of lame? Most of the clothes photographed I’ve had since before sophomore year. I bought two polos over the 4th; the first in almost two years.
A breakdown:
130 snaps total, 117 with discernible upper-body covering…dark blue, gray or light blue billabong t-shirts: 17
$2 Pro Athletics T: 17
other t-shirts: 12
striped polos: 29
above with long-sleeved shirt underneath: 27
sweater, sweatshirt, fleece or zip-up: 25
Here I was thinking I was the cat’s meow, that I could step into the 360° mirror without shame note: really, really hate that show. Then someone pulls out a digicam and I’m left in one of three above-the-waist combinations.
Does this matter? Hells no. Sure, it’s rough to know you’re fashion-retarded, but I’m on vacation all next week and going to the Hold Steady tonight and sunday. In the immortal words of P. Diddy or puff daddy, or sean combs, or diddy, or whatever that rich bastard is calling himself, “Can’t nobody hold me down.”
wait… what? He didn’t write that? He tweaked a few lines from Matthew Wilder and put it over a slowed down version of “the message?” Huh? That’s all he did? Repeatedly? Then why was he so popular?…
* Illusion is still going strong.