Archive for July, 2008
friday free for all »
Friday, July 25th, 2008
… beeeeep… the staff of UTD is not in right now. To remain on the line would be futile and pathetic. You’re better than that some of you. We regret to inform you that we make no apologies for our absence. In fact, we’re happy to be unable to serve your needs.
The office will remain empty indefinitely. We’ve been having trouble keeping up with payments because viewing these posts is free you get what you pay for. As such, we have been evicted from the two hundred square foot windowless basement space we’ve been holed up in for the last couple years.
We will be upgrading with a downgrade. The staff will now be working remotely. this, obviously, is so those above me can save money by forcing staff members to use their local connections; assholes. The staff will be busy moving and setting up their home offices for the next week or so. We will be back, revived, full of vigor = less drunk and likely in our comfies eating Cheetos, before you know it unless you know it before august 4th.
Here are some recommendations for the threes of you to fill the empty days and sorrowful nights while we transition.
— check out the archives, there’s probably plenty there you’ve missed maybe intentionally.
— close the blinds, call in sick to work, turn off your cell, shuffle to the couch in front of the television, turn to Etv or Style and cry.
— take a few moments to read some overheard quotes, ZFS! tell him I sent you; that doesn’t mean anything or view some photos/comics.
— haul your thick-in-all-the-wrong-places ass out and get some sun; maybe bike a bit or read a book or two or one-fourth.
This suspension of posts is in no way related to Draynd taking his aforementioned trip to the Northwest. Any coincidence in timing is purely… a… um… coincidence, I guess. Again, you get what you pay for.
mud »
Thursday, July 24th, 2008
The sun radiates behind me, warming my shoulders and back. On my hands and knees, the ground is a thick layer of mud like the frosting of a birthday cake. In it are diagrams and and writings. Most are indiscernible, written in a language I don’t speak or describing events yet to happen.
Drawn in thick lines when the mud was saturated and nearly fluid is my destiny. A definitive path meanders through many crude illustrations. It darts from left to right, circles around itself, reverses and then reverses again. It climbs steep slopes or gradually works up rolling hills. Where the path leads is far off, too far to see. (more…)
thoughts on: my dismal wardrobe »
Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
I was tagged in a few facebook photos recently and had the unfortunate realization that my wardrobe is horrifically limited. This was a blow to the image I had built for myself of being fashionable, compassionate, philanthropic, handsome and chic.*
Taking the snaps as a random and complete sampling of my life never do this; it’s depressing, my wardrobe sums unimpressive. A quarter of the time I’m in a striped polo. I’m strutting around in one of three Billabong t-shirts thinking I’m the shiz once every seven days. I’ve a long-sleeved shirt under that polo or Billabong T more than half the time I blame the climate.
I wrap myself up in a sweater or zip-up more than once a week and a plain white t another 10% of the time. Close to one day a week, my pale, amorphous torso is covered in a $2 “pro athletic” t-shirt. Want another dose of lame? Most of the clothes photographed I’ve had since before sophomore year. I bought two polos over the 4th; the first in almost two years.
A breakdown:
130 snaps total, 117 with discernible upper-body covering…dark blue, gray or light blue billabong t-shirts: 17
$2 Pro Athletics T: 17
other t-shirts: 12
striped polos: 29
above with long-sleeved shirt underneath: 27
sweater, sweatshirt, fleece or zip-up: 25
Here I was thinking I was the cat’s meow, that I could step into the 360° mirror without shame note: really, really hate that show. Then someone pulls out a digicam and I’m left in one of three above-the-waist combinations.
Does this matter? Hells no. Sure, it’s rough to know you’re fashion-retarded, but I’m on vacation all next week and going to the Hold Steady tonight and sunday. In the immortal words of P. Diddy or puff daddy, or sean combs, or diddy, or whatever that rich bastard is calling himself, “Can’t nobody hold me down.”
wait… what? He didn’t write that? He tweaked a few lines from Matthew Wilder and put it over a slowed down version of “the message?” Huh? That’s all he did? Repeatedly? Then why was he so popular?…
* Illusion is still going strong.
flooded »
Friday, July 18th, 2008
I couldn’t pull the cord fast enough. I’d pull it, feel the resistance it tugged the starter, but the engine wouldn’t burst into the familiar choppy thumping and come to life. Dad steps out of the house and makes his way over. I press the small plastic button again, forcing more fuel into the engine.
I pull the cord with similar results and lean down to push the priming button again. “Hold on, let it sit. You probably flooded the engine,” Dad says from the garage, where he’s lifting the edger off its hook. (more…)
thoughts on: mere existence »
Friday, July 18th, 2008
After DC g-chatted me a YouTube video by Levni Wilmaz, I was hooked. The videos are interesting and the style i think it’s lit from below or something is simplistic. I’ve seen all of them on his YouTube channel and subscribed to his comic strip feed at talesofmereexistence.com.
I recommend all the videos because they’re entertaining, but “boyfriends I’ve been,” “why we didn’t date,” and “a typical conversation with my mother” are notable.
Here’s the one that DC sent. It just so happens to be my favorite because it cuts so deep into all that is me: