Archive for May, 2008
500 books? yes, please… »
Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
I’ve recently come into quite a bit of money.* Being as wealthy as I now am, I’ve shot up in social status and would like to appropriate my unneeded moneys in generous ways. I’m like Bill Gates, but far more attractive and far less smart. Looks of B. Pitt, brains of M. Zuckerberg. I think I’ve found a way.
This intrigues me to no end. First, the design looks sweet. Second, once the G1G1 program gets back in swing, I can donate one and get one of my own. Third, it’ll look boss when I flip it out of my bag and start reading one of my hundreds of available works of literature on the train.
I think you’ll agree because you’re smart and attractive readers that the first iteration looked like a turd from a cow with gastronomical issues. Green rubber keyboard? Early 90s screen casing? And what the hell are those arm-ish things shooting off from the screen like attack wings of a Star Trek battle ship?
But this new one… oh, this new one. Thin, portable, sexy. Everything that reminds me of me well, one out of three ain’t bad. I don’t know how much it would cost to download books and I imagine they come with some pretty lame choices, but if I can get whatever books I wish whenever I like for near-free, I’m in!
I’m also thinking about sorting out some micro-loans. These two programs tap into my need to do something productive with money and my need to be a selfish prick. They’re win-wins.
* Incidentally, this stimulus thing is awesome. There’s no way this is a bad idea. Unless you look at it. Or know of the dozen of alternate ideas that would have helped more.
thoughts on: episode 601, ‘family guy’ »
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
The other night I was tired as all hell. I was laying in bed and half asleep when Family Guy came on adult swim. It was long scrolling text in the style of the original Star Wars intro. I barely paid attention, but as the episode got going I couldn’t get back to sleep. It’s funny. Like, hilariously so. Redundancy!
Blue Harvest is one of many homages to the iconic cinematic-stink-pile that is the Star Wars franchise. The films themselves are poorly directed but filled to overflowing with special effects. They started the computer-aided revolution that now has Hollywood smelling so thick in shit that Mexico City is double-testing their sewage system.
I know the episode originally aired three years and four months ago or something, but I’d never seen it. I give Seth MacFarlane plenty of credit, but not for originating the idea, which leads me to my next vague, barely-there point: not only have there been dozens of homages and parodies along the same vein, but one of the show’s inner circle already did one.
Seth Green, voice of Chris Griffin as well as many other not-notable characters in film/television has a show, also on adult swim, called Robot Chicken. That show, before the Family guy iteration, did a Star Wars homage of its own.
The Family Guy version is better. Chicken is more of a sketch-comedy version, but has more off-handed humor and was less predictable. The Family guy version gets points for its references and adherence to the original and it was a full hour, where chicken only runs fifteen minutes.
The fact that it had already been done, by one of the “family,” was referenced in the very end. I’m glad I was awake for it. Hilarious. They go back and forth, pan Fox as not being a real network in an aside and Chris wanders back upstairs. Comedic Gold.
In any case, it kept me up until eleven and the insomniatic cycle I’ve been spinning in is still pretty solid. Thanks, bastards.
Oh, almost forgot. After all this talk about it, if you haven’t seen it yet and have an hour to sit around the computer watching highly-compressed video of a ton of animated characters brutally assaulting the lame that is George Lucas’ claim to fame, click here and have a look. You’re welcome. I doubt it’s the full episode and I can’t skip through it, but it’s the closest I could get for you kids. It’s the thought that counts you ungrateful, ridiculously attractive heathens.
unbelievable »
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
“Ahmad came, and all of a sudden, we had an angel! This intellectual idea that we were believing in regardless of him, all of a sudden we are like, here is the Arab democrat. See, they exist. Not all Arabs have horns. You know! God sent us this real democrat. And he meant it! He wasn’t lying about his belief in democracy. Here’s proof: Arabs can be democrats.” – Meyrav Wurmser, The Man Who Pushed America to War by Aram Roston
Religious thinker is an oxymoron. Religious thought condemns, slows and sometimes halts progress. Speaking in specifics is worthless. Catholic doctrine has killed millions and left millions more to suffer. Muslim cultures treat women like dogs. Each religion has dozens of faults and only one significant goal: make others believe as you do. Thousands of cultures have been exterminated. (more…)
the orphanage »
Monday, May 19th, 2008
[el Orfanato]
… is what horror movies could be, if Hollywood didn’t suck a royal one. The story is strong, the characters have depth and it works itself into a crescendo with ease. The film is beautiful and artistic.
The characters are broad and their introductions aren’t as forced as usual. There’s no point where a kid falls, scrapes his knee and an elaborate story about him once having Polio drops out of nowhere like some horror films of late. Still, they’re somewhat generic.
It wraps itself up nicely and does it realistically. The end makes sense and brings everything to a close effortlessly. There are parts where it drags, but overall the pace is quality. As a horror movie, it’s top notch. As a film in general, it’s still pretty good, but maybe slightly simplistic.
****
sweet land »
Friday, May 16th, 2008
… is another long-winded boring “love” story. I think I’m just having all the luck just now. This is romantic, I get it. It’s also gorgeous because the scenery is so expansive. It’s entertaining and interesting, but only because it’s a look back to how things were in the 20s. As a story, it’s just too long and uninteresting.
A German woman comes to Minnesota to marry a farmer. The town, because of her nationality and the times, is suspicious. Her and her would-be husband work to harvest and all the olden-days stuff until she can gain approval to marry. The church sends them out because they’re in the same house.
So there’s a struggle, but apparently (because the whole thing’s in flashback) things work out for the two of them. I wasn’t enthralled or particularly entertained, but the direction and acting are quite good. It’d probably better if I was a hopeless romantic, or maybe female.
**