Archive for March, 2008
friday free for all »
Friday, March 21st, 2008
… as i’ve mentioned numerous times before, I use google reader to organize rich chocolaty chunks of interweb. I get feeds in a lot of different genres. I didn’t have headphones with a long enough cord to adequately reach my computer here at the office until just a few days ago. I’ve been diligently catching up on videos as mentioned in yesterday’s post. To give you an idea of how far behind I am, I have posts as far back as the fifth of January and have 397 items in my starred folder.
… I’m headed back to the hometown for the weekend. I’m booked solid. Take no offense if I don’t see you around town.
… I think Barack Obama made a gigantic mistake discussing race in a mature way. We’re not ready for it. I mean sure, if McCain had renounced his pastor he’d be strung up by his septuagenarian intestines, but that wasn’t Obama’s point. Unfortunately, in a world of fifteen-second sound-bites, too many people still have no idea what he said. Granted, the vast majority of the people who actually saw the whole speech have no idea either. We’re stupid, I guess, is what I’m saying.
… after reading a ZFS! post, I got The National’s discography. I’ve been listening to it for most of the last ten hours that I’ve been awake.
… I’ve been looking to get the second season of Arrested Development from that coworker the possessor I mentioned. Unfortunately, it’s lent out to another coworker the kidnapper just now. So I have to doodle a cartoon for the kidnapper, in order for her to give the season back to the possessor for her to copy it on to DVDs I gave her. I offered to give the possessor a season of Always Sunny in exchange. I’m confused and feel exploited, but Arrested Development is totally worth it.
… and finally:
I think we should bump this holiday to Mondays in order to secure another day off. I don’t listen to talk radio, but I’ll do my best in wishing you a Happy Easter:
I hope you all have enough ammo and rage to defeat the brown menace this weekend and going forward with the war on anyone different terror. Remember, this is a Christian nation built on the belief that Church and State should forever remain separate. Do your best to help everyone forget that. Eat only American-made chocolate bunnies I guess Jesus had quite the sweet tooth because if the ultra-super-1%-rich go down, the country goes down with them. mmm… this neon-green hard-boiled egg tastes like economic collapse… so good! Barack’s a Muslim shit, sorry… he’s a Christian, but attends an extremist Church; so hard to keep up with this stuff and fuck the Mexicans! or something. Drive safe, kids.
haha »
Thursday, March 20th, 2008
Here’s a new video it gives new meaning to “classic cinema” that should have people in uproarious laughter within seconds. Well, people that are over thirty with marginal social skills and appreciation for computer-generated graphics. The rest of you may just find this mildly entertaining or even one of the lamest things I’ve ever slung at you in irate-monkey fashion. I make no apologies.
Now, let me address a concern some of you may have just now. You’re astute readers. As I’ve mentioned frequently the comedic stylings of C-dog, you probably realize that ZFS! posted this very same video, like, seven months ago. Why would I give you reused, recycled and re-posted information?
I realize it’s below me, considering how I was your initial source for the whole Spitzer thing, but I didn’t have adequate aural gear until only a few days ago. Running interweb clips in the background slowed to a fetus crawl gross image.. in case it didn’t pop into your head right away and I’m way behind. I’m sorting things out and catching up. If you’re working in the here and now with youtube clips because you’re obviously not with denim fashions, congratulations.
Shit, in my eyes, Hillary just teared up and Giuliani is still Faux News’ assumed front-runner. Just laugh while Vader dances with his light saber to a high-tempo piano score and try to forget how old the clip may or may not be.
religion, dilbertized »
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
Last week, Dilbert had a character named Jesus pronounced “hay-soos”. It was, in my opinion, pretty funny. I’m entertained by the light mockery of such a preposterous entity as the Catholic Church. I think they’re more interested in spreading their ideology than living by it. I laughed at the South Park Easter episode, too, in case you’re curious.
But, what do you think? Are you shaken to your core by the strips linked below? Has Scott Adams affronted your beliefs?*
March 8; March 10; March 11; March 12; March 13; March 14
Now, for some added fun, here’s a response from his blog. He not only explains the responses as a whole, but gives one as an example. His reply to that letter almost made me laugh out loud. How about you?
My prediction? No comments.
*If yes to all questions, how many guns do you own and how are you helping to defeat the Islamo-fascists? Can you explain to me the difference between intelligent design and natural selection in a thousand words or less without mentioning how you aren’t a monkey?
there was a firefight!! »
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
That’s overstating it, but I just watched Boondock Saints and I do want to punch something. Maybe poke someone in the eye and walk away. I fucking hate Tuesdays. I’ll probably be glancing at the clock every twenty seconds until noon-thirty when I can catch a nap.
Today has been much like any other second day of the work week. I came in, feeling as overzealous as never, and adjusted a graphic I had worked on yesterday. I modified the color back to the gray that they started in.
I created an illustration of a paper airplane. It looks alright and stands out on the screen because the other sidebar heading colors are weak, nerdy hues playing Dungeons and Dragons World of Warcraft after math class. I sent it.
Within a few moments, the reply was and I use my interpretation rather than an actual quote: we’re sort of telling gray to fuck off because it doesn’t work with our colorful look.
Um… What?? First, there are only three bold colors to choose from and two are already in use. Second, though I completely respect my coworker’s uneducated and absurd opinion, I don’t see how the only solid color in the right column doesn’t stand out.
I’m not exactly an art director, but I would think that competing with my coworker, a just-graduated marketing or something major, is a mild waste of my time. If I were to have actual conversations about this graphic, I’d likely vomit blood.
Of course, with his or her limited knowledge of visual elements and inability to fully create anything beyond a Word Document, I should take anything my coworker says directly to heart and modify the graphic. I’ll be sure to thank coworker for the inept assessment.
I fucking hate Tuesdays.
Ah well. After work I’m off to the Alps of Afton for some boarding on the fresh “heart attack snow.” I’ll unleash frustration on the hill* and get some exercise to boot. Should be golden after that. It’s spring, after all you can tell by the hazy gray skies and gigantic, murky, ice-melt puddles.
I’ve even got some art to check out once the snow’s finally gone. Stress relief by way of artistic voyeurism is new for me. It’s better, but slightly less transfixing, than MetaSpy [via], at least.
* By “the hill” of course I mean my fragile limbs.
top o’ the morning to ya’s! »
Monday, March 17th, 2008
Finally, the annual fun side of racism is again upon us. Despite long-standing generalizations and slanderous assumptions, every one’s Irish today. They were drafted off the boat, excluded from well-paying jobs and given the shit work. Today, everyone wants to be a red-head wearing a giant, green foam hat, dressed to the nines in four-leaf clovers. They were procreation-happy drunks, but now we have Mexicans, so poor me another. Fucking twits.
It’s Valentine’s Day for drunks. Half the office looks like they took a swim in an algae bloom on their way to work. Any bar tonight will strain at the seams against dozens of middle-aged folk trying to remember what frat parties were like. They’ll drink Guinness, give unwanted high-fives, yell along with Dropkick Murphy, take free buses home and vomit green beer until 6a tomorrow.
I, at my tender age, am already over this pea-green excuse for a holiday. It’s sad, in a way, but I’ve already had my apex of fun and I don’t think I can physically top it. If I did, I’d surely be arrested or shot trust me, when i say apex; i’m not just going for a scrabulous score. Being about a third Irish, I should be pissing in stairwells by 11p, but I think I’m set.
I’ve already had enough annoyance-level entertainment to hold me over until a more sober tomorrow. The office decided to have a breakfast potluck. I was early Free food!! and alone with the office mothers. They had gripes that the committee planned the potluck without assigning anyone to set out the tables, bring in the utensils and set up the food. They bitched while they set out the tables, brought out the utensils and laid out the food.
I like to bitch about things I don’t actually care about; it’s surprisingly therapeutic. Thus, I find other people’s bitching to be endlessly entertaining. It was all the more humorous because one of the mothers was decked out in a green “Irish” sweater and four-leaf earrings. Class.
Unfortunately, it did become a bit painful. One of the other mothers has a voice that makes my ear drums cry like their boyfriends just left them to backpack through Europe. I hear Irish lassies are real sluts… My favorite part:
Office Mother/leprechaun: [office girl fifteen feet away]! The coffee cake is better heated up with butter.
Office girl fifteen feet away looking uninterested, but nodding: Really? Nice [voice trails off] …
Office Mother/Leprechaun in direction of Office girl, but to no one in particular: The coffee cake is still good though.
I don’t know if there was a conversation preface to this. I really hope there was. I feel like women have been getting a bad wrap lately. I mean, the Hillary campaign strategy and that chick from The View I pick on Sherri, the show as a whole is generally unfortunate as far as gender stereotypes go have done enough. I don’t want to seem like I’m a part of it.
While you’re guzzling green-dyed beverages and trying to draw attention to your “kiss me, I’m Irish pin,” I’ll be chilling on my couch watching Big Bang, How I Met Your Mother and 2.5 men. Then I’ll probably put in Boondock Saints. If anyone tries to get me to throw up an unsolicited high-five, I plan on missing and accidently jabbing an index finger into their eye socket. The Irish are hot-tempered, you know.