rider rides again
Though the smart, poignant, and generally heart warming title is brilliant, it may have better served you to add “knight” before it. It would have clarified things and you may have thought to ignore this post. But you’re here now and that’s what counts… Don’t think I can’t see you rolling for the door on your cheap office chair… be advised there are Blackwater patrols outside. They’re not known for their discretion or forethought… Hey! Welcome back. Stop crying; it’s difficult to read through the tears.
Anyway, as most of you at least the cooler twos of you know, the terribly preposterous lump of 80s sweetness that was Knight Rider has been revamped and remixed into a two-hour television event this Sunday. Some of you may find this troublesome. What will they think of next, you ask? A Family Matters mini-series? To that, I say, don’t give them any ideas.
I don’t know for sure if I’ll be viewing in the grease monkey meets bio-technician meets Iraq war protestor smorgasbord, but I can’t especially when I close my eyes and turn off my brain think of any reason why it won’t be awesome. The car, with help of imaginary nanotechnology, can shape and color shift. Why? When it’s already the Marisa Miller of automobiles? Because it’s Knight-effin’-Rider. Duh.
Need more than that? The Hoff is slated to return in character for a guest spot. K.I.T.T.’s voice is the one and only Gay Perry, Val Kilmer. They though completely unnecessary even attempted to toss a plot at this thing.
Sarah Graimen (Russo) is a 24-year old Ph.D. candidate at Stanford University, following in her genius father Charles’ (Davison) footsteps. But when men attempt to abduct her, Sarah receives a mysterious call from KITT warning her that he’s a creation of Charles’, who also invented the first KITT 25 years ago — and that her father is in serious danger.Sarah and KITT track down her best friend from childhood, Mike Tracer (Bruening), a 23-year-old ex-Army Ranger, whom Sarah hasn’t seen since he left home at 18. Having served in Iraq, Mike is now jaded and lost and initially resistant. Eventually he agrees to help Sarah and the two set out to find Charles and to discover who’s behind the attempt to procure KITT. [via]
Now, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself he says after getting way ahead of himself. I was just as hyped for American Gladiator’s return to the small screen and that left me unfulfilled like a whiff of a fart made of sighs. It’s only different by probably two challenges, a pool, and Hulk Hogan hosting. Meh.
There are a few reasons this one could fall short of high expectations because things watched as a child are far more interesting than when seen later; examples: labyrinth, goonies, or clowns (which, even then, were sort of depressing) The original slated voice of this pimped-out K.I.T.T. was Will Arnett. The 80s sucked; reliving them could be like choking down skunked Miller Lite. There’s a character listed as “hot girl” that is only hot if your contact with ladies is limited to cafeteria workers and elderly nurses two “g”s? really?. Oh, and any of the reasons above, if you read them differently it’s called perspective, people.
Watching Knight Rider made testosterone-deficient yuppies and pale office helpers feel like men again. I can only guess, the made-for-t.v.-movie version won’t have a similar effect.