flawed democracy
note: what follows has no insight, inside knowledge, or thought. It refers to the Democratic race mccain need not apply. Anything herein that resembles factual content or perspective is purely coincidental. For those of you who don’t believe in coincidence, get over yourselves. Destiny is the Easter Bunny of the post-sixth-grade crowd. Everything you do has consequences that are directly related to the cause. A series of causes and effects make up your dismal existence. Here, take some of these. I just picked them up from the fourteen-year-old across the street. All his friends say they’re the shiz. What the hell am I talking about? Can we move on?
First, this will likely be obvious to 96.74% of you, the readers. As the top-most, flakiest, golden brown-est crusties of the upper crust of this giant bunt cake we call America, you understand happenings on every level. You’re wealthy not in the social sense, but in the sense you can buy a county to hunt on. You despise the poor and consider your trust fund pocket change. I know I’m talking down you in your three-piece suits and shoes with no price tag that were handed to you personally by a seven-year-old Malaysian, but I must cater to the lowest common denominator. Please forgive.
With his “sweep” love the media’s portrayal of politics as sports; undermines any importance it once had; awesome this weekend, Obama is on an impressive push toward the presidency. pause for applause at my hard-hitting, thoughtful analysis. I threw a quick glance toward the C.N.N. election center. Things are looking pretty stellar for the new kid. This is likely because Clinton is a heartless, manipulative bitch. That, or deep in the heart of all of us, there’s a louder voice of misogyny than bigotry.
But, whilst glancing passingly, I noticed the number of super delegates. I took time to watch a video breaking down the super delegates issue. As far as I can tell, it’s any current or former Democrat, except Lieberman. The 3.26% of you would think these super delegates would because it would be logical and fair vote along with the people. That’s why the 3.26% of you are idiots I may have to cater to you, but I don’t have to enjoy it.
Clinton has almost twice as many estimated super delegates in her camp. Were it some other woman, I would jump to the conclusion she’s fellated* her way into their favor; unfortunately, it is the former first lady, so we know this is not the case; zing! I guess this proves that the democratic elite couldn’t give a shit less about the general population psst, 96.74%, this is where you toast with your sixty-year-old wine; I can wait. The down and out members of the business community those salaried at only three million; dumb bastards want her because she’s pro-corporatism. The rest want Obama because he’s running with a better message.
It seems clear that Obama has more momentum. He’s raised about seven trajillion dollars. Quite a few members of the celebrilite are behind him and he’s got a few Kennedy kids on his side. The fact that he won Alabama, Georgia, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, South Carolina, and Utah was enough to push me into full support of this guy. If racists, mormons, and farmers can agree, who am I to argue? I haven’t decided if I’ll vote this time around Tuesdays are always bad for me, but still, he’s a good kid.
Oh, wait, there is that one thing… What the shit is he going to do once he’s president? I haven’t heard anything about his policies thanks established media! and don’t know which direction he’ll go. If I’m honest with myself and I rarely am, there’s no way he can bridge the gap between Right and Left. The only thing we can realistically hope out of him in four years is the withdrawal of the majority of our troops not including contracted death squads, obviously and maybe a few failed attempts at health reform. Is that what I really want to vote for?
It’s a vote against the Democratic establishment that ushered in the Iraq war and has done nothing to slow the conservative agenda. It’s for an inexperienced idealist with all the right sound bites. It’s a gesture toward a united political process like the twitch of a comatose patient’s finger. It’s in favor of ending a bullshit war. It’s in favor of progressive ideals. It’s in favor of a society beyond racial turmoil. It’s something. It’s all a bunch of bullshit as you, the upper-crusties, already know. It’s pathetic, but, if all goes well, at least it’s something in theory.
* unrelated: looking up fellated on dictionary.com yields “chloe sevigny agent” as a related ad. awesome.