the votes are in
You may have missed it, what with the pointedly pathetic analysis of political happenings and the ridiculous knee-jerk overcoverage of an untimely death (or here or here) autopsy inconclusive. There wasn’t much for coverage beyond a few local articles, but I had to sit through a press conference see: showing my support, so I have to tell you about it.
For the record, the presidential campaign doesn’t interest me. The coverage does nothing to explain the actual issues and how any candidate chosen over another will affect actual people. It’s all bickering to the soundtrack of political positioning. The media is wasting our time and those that follow it closely might as well put a paperclip through their eye. It’s as much, if not more, mentally stimulating.
Heath was a fine actor, but his passing doesn’t even slightly effect me. I had to hear it from roommates. If a few other folk hadn’t talked about it after, I’d likely have made it to the next media circle-jerk and been surprised as all hell in two years when I realized I hadn’t seen him in a movie recently. It was more of a surprise than brad renfro, but despite media molestation and overexposure, who actually knew the guy? He had a few solid roles in films I’ve watched. So did renfro, chris farley, and assorted others who fell tragically or suddenly. related: is anyone else waiting on something like this from britney spears? i think she’s running about twenty years overdue. I’d bet $10 on her being the first non-equine sign of a pending apocalyptic something-or-other. Moving on.
The real news ha, real news; wait… am I the only one laughing?, the reason I had to stand at the airport, after a half-hour rail ride, for a press conference, was the Minneapolis Saint Paul rebranding. With coverage here, here, and my favorite here, it was, as I said, regional at best.
I didn’t realize we had to “brand” cities now. The new slogan for Minneapolis Saint Paul can’t call them “twin cities” anymore, people is “more to life.” Um. Yep. That got me thinking. What the hell sort of slogans are out there? With the help of exhaustive research by Gary, part of the volunteer staff here at U.T.D., I can direct you to this link.
There are a lot of references to specific industries or landmarks: Hershey, PA – “the sweetest place on earth,” St. Louis – “there’s more than meets the arch,” now “st. lou is all within reach;” more on city name-play in a second or Omaha, NE – “rare. well done.” There are some that rely a bit too heavily on the town’s actual name: Walla Walla, WA – “the city so nice they named it twice,” Happy, TX – “the town without a frown,” Tombstone, AZ – “the town too tough to die,” or show low, AZ – “named for the turn of a card.” But then there are some that barely and i’m giving them a lot of credit make sense: charlottesville, VA – “so very virginia,” rapid city, MD – “real. america. up close.,” norfolk, VA – “life, celebrated daily,” or san francisco, ca – “only in san francisco.” Some are a little defeatist even for my tastes after I laugh at them for far longer than I should, like glenpool, OK – “the town that made tulsa famous,” or Shenandoah, TX – “more than just a song.”
They all seem ridiculous, but people still aren’t behind ours check the poll results. The reader suggestions are pretty funny in themselves. Anita throws in some alliteration (“saint paul/minneapolis spender’s splendor”) she tried saying it five times fast and her tongue packed a suitcase and slithered off to the light rail, Mary gets a little weird on us (“Minneapolis Saint Paul: We’re Li[k]e Family!”), and Christina decides something incredibly long will get the tourists pissing themselves to come here (“Minneapolis and St. Paul: Come see what the best of life has to offer”). Dan sounds exuberantly disgruntled with “Minnesota: tax capitol of the world” I guess he forgot it was for the cities, but he’s likely aged beyond reason; good try old chap.
My personal favorite comes from Diana (“moneysota”). Not because it’s clever because it’s not or because she, like Dan, aimed to the state level or even because it sounds ridiculous. She seemed astonished it hadn’t made it to the list yet. “…has been our slogan for years, where have you been?” I’ve never heard this. It doesn’t even make sense. How about “minnesnowta” or the unofficial nickname, “the mini apple?” Is she trying to bash the taxes? The cost of living? Is she trying to imply something positive? That we’re rich? She lost me.
By the way, you can submit photos of the city on their site for some sort of contest. I’d look further into it and give you rules and such, but gary just passed out. I can’t tell if he’s coherent, but he’s repeating “get ’er done, havre” to the point I’m about to slap him.
Anthony Says: