oops, I did it again
And by “it,” I mean another Spears pregnancy. I couldn’t resist; the title’s catchy. Take that, abstinence-only education!
That’s right, you heard it here last folks, the younger Spears is all kinds of knocked up. Ok, class, who saw this coming? All of you? Congratulations, you’re not as dumb as you look even Stanley, the one that just ain’t right. This is probably the richest pack of W.T. I think has ever been recorded.
They’ve got the accents, the stage mom, the track-suit wedding, the bastard children and the thug baby’s daddy. I sincerely believe that Britney keeps driving into shit because W.T. are not meant to own vehicles that aren’t immobile on blocks. Britney herself is already through with her second marriage and, if forced into a factory job, would fail a half-dozen drug tests before taking her first piss of the day. She dresses like her stylist is a thirty-dollar whore from the slums of Memphis who has “the crabs” and because of an impressive lack of education believes they come from wearing undergarments.
This is why, as a population, we are getting dumber by the generation. The dumb ones rock out genetic clones much earlier and more frequently than the I-need-to-wait-’til-I-can-afford-it-and-my-job-allows folk. The Spears hit the jackpot by having a cute daughter that struck richness before the ignorance see: track marks started to show. Now they can pack their intellectually-challenged spawn into mansions instead of a rented double-wide.
The young one was ’sposed to be the good one. She was brought up in the flash bulbs while dodging the stigma that comes with a sexually hyperactive older sister. Turns out she was taking it ha in stride while trying to make her own slutty mark on this world. I wouldn’t normally call her a slut I’m all about sexual freedom for the pre-adult crowd, but it’s obvious she comes from low-end seed and she admitted wanting to “keep [her] options open.” Thank goodness she’s too young to go through the expense of a hasty marriage where she’d have to spend a few months at least; otherwise the marriage ain’t right in the eyes of God, and so on with some guy she doesn’t like attached to a dick she does.
I don’t know if you caught it, but the hands-down best part of this whole thing is her reason for raising the soon-to-be W.T. in Louisiana. “So it can have a normal family life.” Because every Louisiana native deserves the right to play with his or her bastard cousins under the supervision of heavily-funded nannies and hulking, paparazzi-deterring bodyguards while their mothers go out on the town snorting who-knows-what powders off no-names’ asses with their grandma. Seems her “normal” life is paying off in spades.
God didn’t bless the U.S. sorry G. Dubb. He’s using us as an experiment to see how fast a culture can destroy itself without Biblical plagues. I imagine they, even for He who created Heaven and Earth, can be taxing. I can’t speak for how the experiment is going smart and inhumanly handsome I may be, but Godly I am not, but all signs point to putting raining frogs and rivers of blood into the “beating a dead horse” category.