Archive for August, 2007
crossed the line »
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
As I’ve mentioned, and will continue mentioning, because I’m staring at a screen at work with boredom seeping into my brain like a stale marinade I’m just recently back from vacation. On that vacation, I ate like shit. But U.T.D., you already eat like a two hundred pound seven-year-old, you say? Your point? Even for my already nutrient-less consumption habits, it’s been an indulgent week. I think I may have hit the fast-forward on the heart attack D.V.D.
There was the juicy lucy from Busters, the meatball and chicken pizza from fat’s, the mashed potato pizza from Town Hall, and the pan cooked “chips” of unknown origin prepared by Greg; that was the first weekend. I had some pizza from Punch, three-quarters of a box of mac and cheese, and a bunch of peta to round out grub before the trip. On the way to, while staying in, and coming back from Los Angeles I partook in the following:
five cheeseburgers, two steak and potato dinners, two over-sized hot dogs, two cupcakes delicious, delicious, cupcakes, one overloaded turkeyburger, a bagel slathered with double the cream cheese, a heaping plate of mixed Greek, a larger-than-chipotle chicken burrito with chips, and more appetizers than I can count or would like to admit.
This is all while exercising as much as Oprah in a fat season. I think I walked five miles the whole damn week. Yesterday, for lunch, I had two giant slices of pizza and a cookie that came to my desk around three. But the line was officially crossed today.
I was hungry. More than normal, but that’s probably due to my dinner. A four course affair consisting of half a bagel, toasted burnt, technically, but it’s not like I’m on Iron Chef, and smeared with cream cheese. The other courses? Um, well actually those were the same; three more times. Maybe four courses wasn’t the right description, but I digress.
The point is, I was hungry and waiting for a toasted turkey and cheese wasn’t cutting it. So I ventured into the great odor maze that is the skyway. I had set off for Jimmy Johns and ended up at crazy tacos which, for those not in the know, is about one-third the way to J.J.’s; I didn’t make it too far. I ordered the cheese lover combo because it’s hard to mess up. The combo of chips and cheese, a cheese enchilada, and a small cheese quesadilla makes it even harder.
It’s just a pile of cheese, in varying levels of melt, in or on top of different forms of flour products. It came with a cup of carbonated empty calories. The quesadilla was soggy and the cheese on the chips solidified before I got back to my desk, but the enchilada was pretty solid. and, of course, by “pretty solid,” I mean a metaphoric artery stomping, courtesy a pair of Timberlands.
It’s no wonder I’ve started to round out and fill in. I’ve been eating like when I was moving furniture whilst burning about eighteen calories a day. I could eat foods that are lower in fat a compromise that doesn’t involve vegetables or fruits, but why should I have to? This should do the trick. It’s a steal at sixty bucks for twelve days. By the end of that round I should be down to a skeletal fifty-nine kilograms.
At any rate, I definitely slipped over into the carpool lane on the highway toward morbid obesity. Should keep an eye on all that.
as promised… »
Monday, August 27th, 2007
…here are those snaps and videos. the photos are [link disabled] here. there’s a video of Jerry and Nut [link disabled[ getting down to Mustang Sally, or at least I think that’s the name of the song careful, it’s two parts. Then there’s one of Nut [link disabled] rocking to Ricky. After that there’s a few folk [link disabled] rocking away. The obligatory clip [link disabled] of folk dancing to Shout. notice aaron waiting forever thinking i’m taking a pic. classic. and finally, the [link disabled] last dance. if ya’ll are still around, there’s even a clip of [link disabled] the take off at L.A.X.
Any clips have an .avi version to go with them. they’re wicked big though. so ya’ll will have to deal.
in other iphone news: »
Monday, August 27th, 2007
The bastards have been hacked. So all you non-at&t/cingular/AT&T users can enjoy the shit pile that is the fad-tastic iphone.
and… »
Monday, August 27th, 2007
I’m back. Applause and tears should be held until the end. It’s hard on the other readers. But it’s good to be back with the threes of you. ha. and if that’s true i might as well sell off that bridge I inherited. The George Washington or something. I’ll have to check the slip for the name.
Things I learned:
L.A. graffiti makes the stuff up here look like someone tossed a used diaper at the wall and painted the stains in black or thoughtless colors. Salt water to the nose gives me a three-day sinus headache. I don’t hang ten well. The city’s not that expensive if you avoid driving, eating, parking or entering any enclosed establishments. L.A. is not designed for cars with low clearances that’s why they drive hummers and complain about smog. The interchange of 62 and 35W is not that bad. Surfboards can grind the flesh off toes with surprising ease. Sometimes homelessness is too easy. The sand at the Santa Monica Pier makes Nokomis sand feel like low-grade gravel. And I look amazing in a sea-foam green vest.
A few thanks:
to Nut, for letting me be his best man, the fantastically short ceremony, and being cool about inviting girl to most events. to Trish, for entertaining girl while i was away partaking in ceremonial crap. to Ryan, for nailing down the emotional ending to the duet-style speech. to Andy, for letting us store the package, the entertaining children, the delicious steak, and the walk out to the water. to Kristen and the bathroom of the harbor house, for much needed pain medication. and to girl, for being an excellent travel buddy.
Twas fun, and eventful, but not worth the time to go into it. I cannot fully describe how little I want to be sitting at this desk right now, but work will be over soon enough and I have some major sleep to get to. After sorting some photos and videos first, obviously. I’ll post with the links and things whenever that works itself out.
related story… »
Saturday, August 18th, 2007
so while posting the previous, i’ve been watching the real world. i don’t know if any of you kids have been keeping up, but holy shit. i have a headache growing at the back of my eyes. i think i can actually feel the neurons drying up like sponge bob out of water. they’re popping like rice krispies.
this show has gone so. far. down. hill. it used to be the sweetness. New york. boston. shit, even new orleans is television gold compared to this. shauvon, in her twenties; yah right. kellyanne, hot, but you have two names. together. and you’re a slut. that’s too wandering toucan for me. and i don’t have high standards in the w.t. department. the conversations between these people is definitive proof that we are a nation of easy living. it’s as if their words are based on random firings of synapses. like a verbal dream. super.
but i’m on vacation. so i’m still watching. don’t judge. and on that note: i’m out. catch you kids on the flip.