Archive for July, 2007
grylls bears all »
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
haha. awesome title, eh? I should have gone into journalism in order to agree to that statement you must ignore 92% of the writing herein; and on that note: welcome new readers. But anyway, enough about me and on to more about me. The real reason for this late afternoon post is to let ya’ll in on a little secret.
Ok, so it’s not much of a secret, but they sure make it out to be an exposé don’t they? Real gritty shit. Like someone should be surprised a television show isn’t completely real. He’s depicting survival skills, people. He claims he’s surviving in the wilderness with no help, but who in their right mind would do such a thing? Survivorman; obviously.
He’d have to be mentally challenged to go out and risk his life without some back-end support and then he wouldn’t be surviving all that long methinks. Also, if he were actually trying to survive, do you think he’d intentionally jump into a giant hole of quicksand-like mud? No. And that was friggin’ sweet. So please hold our criticism for a show that really needs it. Like So you think you can dance. Now there’s a show that needs a hard-hitting exposé right quick. Flexible bastards.
And I’m not even going to go into what the media should be doing with all this time they apparently have. That belongs here. See, I’m learning not to bore the threes of you.
temperate »
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
A year ago I woke up at six fifteen. I was told at five the night before when, and to which office, I was to report to work. Once there, I was handed a clipboard with a few sheets of paperwork. On top of the papers was a map. It was derived from a Mapquest best-guess set of directions and was rarely completely correct. By seven-thirty the day would begin.
As the day, already in the mid-seventies, got warmer, the sweat would start to pour out of me. I’d drink two or three thirty-two ounce reused Gatorade bottles filled with water. I’d be dehydrated.
The day’s work consisted of moving large objects up and down stairs between a house or apartment and a truck. The lifting and walking weren’t bad because I’d already adjusted, but the heat was overwhelming. Pieces would slip in my sweaty grip. The strain of the overworked muscles was only compounded by the sun on the black-on-black uniforms every trip out to the truck. The interior of the truck was stifling and musty. The sweat soaked through each layer of clothes and my deodorant failed miserably to keep up. A stench filled the truck and followed everywhere.
The houses and apartments we moved from had their air conditioning units, if they were equipped with one, on a low setting to reduce cost. The places we moved to were either without, because it was brought along with the move, or not on to reduce the cost of having the doors open for prolonged periods of time. The nice customers kept the air on, but forced us to close the door upon entering or leaving—thus adding about a third to our overall move time. The very nice ones kept the conditioner running and accepted the cost. The very nice ones were rare.
Waters were offered and rarely a lunch would be paid for, but the vast majority of customers wanted the move done as quickly as possible so they could get to their unpacking or pay less. While understandable, this led to more exertion. On the hottest days the morale was entirely too low for polite conversation. The tips, erratic in size, were not at all correlated to the amount moved or the heat of the day.
Today I woke up at six-thirty. I get up at the same time—aside from a snooze or two—every day. I get to work and start a series of mind-numbing maintenance projects before getting into relevant pieces. Some of the work is tedious or repetitive or unnecessary. I work until four forty-five almost every day. I’m rushed only when a project is due.
I started today with an email. A site is being reviewed by a new employee before going live. The email was worded with subtlety, but wreaked of condescension. It implied that only small changes should be suggested because most decisions were made before they were employed here. It also defended the necessity of a redundant and unnecessary page. It was a pathetic attempt to show power in the office politic.
The head of the department routinely yells out of her office door for people thirty to forty feet away instead of dialing their extension. She speaks at a volume at or near the bark of a rottweiler. The words are raspy and strained with the aural tinge of cigarette smoke. The power struggle between personalities in the department is absurd and laces even the most mundane project. Communication is low and project turnaround is high. The office is a relatively consistent seventy degrees.
It’s not that bad.
haha »
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
Considering the mood i’ve been in recently see previous, this was probably the best way to start my morning. Brought to you by Carlsberg Beer* via Ad Age and the greatness that is youtube.
Yes, startling. And fantastic. Happy humpday.
* their site is one of those that decides to play music immediately. And it’s all flash, but at least the ad isn’t annoying.
tuesdays »
Tuesday, July 24th, 2007
I really, really hate Tuesdays. What’s the point?? I used to refrain from drinking on Tuesdays. I don’t exactly know why, but maybe it was to give myself a break from drinking thursday through sunday. But, with not drinking that often during the week and all, i’ve given up refraining. So it’s not even noteworthy anymore. It’s not monday, which is hated for being the first day back after a too-short weekend, and it’s not wednesday, which is the first sign that there will eventually be a weekend.
Tuesday just sits there like a mole on your ass. At least Monday has the decency to metastasize and cause entire assloads of annoyance. Tuesday just sits there having the doctor check it every fucking time for changes in color or shape, but not worth enough to be removed.
Wednesday’s like the cool aunt who gives you a shitton of affection when she’s around because she doesn’t have kids of her own. Tuesday’s like the bitch grandmother who can’t stand taking care of you unless you’re taking a nap. Her gifts run about the same value from when you’re three to when you’re thirty.
Tuesday’s turns down invites from Friday or Saturday in favor of the new Harry Potter. But he makes fun of Friday and Saturday in short conversations with himself because he’s jealous they get all the play. He dresses funny and does Thursday’s homework so the rest of the week will talk to him.
Tuesday is the toast and butter to Thursday’s grilled cheese, or Saturday’s sausage and pepperoni pizza, or Sunday’s milkshake. Tuesday is the warm whole milk to Wednesday’s grain belt, or Saturday’s rum and coke, or Monday’s black coffee with three sugars. Tuesday is the cabbage patch kid to Friday’s Barbie.
The point is: fuck Tuesdays. I’m tired, i’m hungry, i’m annoyed, i’m crabby, and the day feels like the gestation of an elephant just over twenty months if you’re curious. Tuesday’s are just fucking pathetic. To reiterate: fuck tuesdays.
another leaf »
Monday, July 23rd, 2007
Some of you ok, maybe one of you may remember back to my original “new leaf” sort of life shift. It was awhile back when I decided to change my ways, and it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. I made notable differences in general activities and have now sorted out the financial angle, though, and I’ve decided to make another shift. I’ve just started last week a new health kick.
It’s insanity. I can only liken it to if Michael Jackson were to have sex with a woman sans-baster. I’ve started to ingest vegetables, jog regularly, and bought a membership to Lifetime. I’ve lost ten pounds and gained back some of the missing muscle mass from moving furniture.
Really?
No. Actually, I just lied a few times there five actually, if you’re a numbers sort, but it was more fun than you’d imagine. However, I decided to bike more than just to the rail and back during the day. So it’s something.
Last week was the experiment and it went swimmingly. I biked Nokomis between 2.5 and 3 miles three times monday, four times tuesday and twice friday. It was a rough week though with the bachelor party and the wedding and the friends in town and all. I’m hoping to kick that up with more freetime this week.
Also, I’ve sworn off burgers even the $2 variety for the time being. But, don’t misunderstand me here, I’m not opposed to Sally’s on a tuesday night. They have vegi-ternative patties just waiting for me to try out yes; i said it; you aren’t delirious… yet. In fact, if people want to hit it up tomorrow or the next week feel free to let me know. It’s been too long since I’ve hit campus… whoa, lost the rails there for a second… apologies. Here we go…
With the new job and the motivation of a cumulous cloud I haven’t kept up with my more scholarly goals. I do read more than I did and tend to read and watch news oriented media which I’m sure is a detriment to my blood pressure, just not to the degree I’d desired. But, I can at least avoid the lard-assity that comes with office employment.
Plus, with the flights and hotels booked, meal choice sent, the digicam in the mail or sitting at my door and the lapbook ordered, I only have one thing left to do before the trip to the City of Angels: get into kicking shape. And at least that’s not a financial donkey kick to the left nut. umm… with the biking talk and all, that may have sounded like a hurtful pun directed at Lance; sorry buddy, not intentional. It’s free of charge per the Minneapolis parks system. athankya very much.