just a fucking douchebag
Let’s say I’m dubya. I used to have it sweet. Everything I said was gravy. While I’m a little foggy on details, I’m still the decider and not an emboldener. I regularly chat with the Man Upstairs so I know things are in order. But something’s gone amiss. I’ve lost all credibility. Most people around me are under investigation. I’m a war criminal. My vice prez is soulless. I’m running out of fall guys. Less than a third of the population thinks I’m able to do my job. I’m not on the campaign trail because I’m the political equivalent to bubonic plague.
But, even though you’d think I’d take some time and evaluate why I suck more than Jenna Jameson in a gang-bang, I stick firm to my ridiculous beliefs. At this point I’m more concerned with coining a catch phrase than being regarded as the worst president/emperor to ever walk the earth and yes FDR is in the ranking even if he technically rolled. He was just a much better leader… wait… too soon?. I’ll spit out whatever my handlers give me. “At the pleasure of the president”, “embolden the enemy”, and, my new favorite, “precedent.”
There was a precedent for my prosecutor purge. My handing over of thousands of emails was unprecedented. My chief aides don’t have to testify because it would break precedent.
All well and good dub, but you’re missing a few things. You’ve just fired almost as many as in the last twenty-five years combined. You handed over all the documents except the ones that anyone gives a shit about. And all your neocon brethren threw up “unconstitutional” arguments on whether aides should testify or not when Clinton got his knob slobbed.
And what if the vote is for a budget that forces a withdrawal by March? Or your executive privilege is ignored and your aides are obligated to testify under oath and in public? Or Gonzalez is seen as the troll he is? Or Snow just up and has a lie-induced aneurysm? A temper tantrum? A slow heavy sob?
You have nothing. You are nothing. We have what appears to be the check and balances system that was set up by the formulators of the company you now rule so ineptly. You’ll have to adjust to a crumbling base because even the most devout are starting to read the other parts of that book that you haven’t twisted for your own benefit. Even those most loyal to you with the obvious exception of faux news who are too busy licking the sweat from your balls to realize what’s going on beyond their studio are starting to turn because they’re realizing your political stances are based only in your own agenda and have very little connection with reality.
If I wasn’t so annoyed with the damn election campaigns starting already, I’d be counting the time until your deceiving, country-hating, ignorant ass was officially out of office 670 days as of posting. Oh. And fuck you.