So coors (the car) is going odd acoustic places lately with a nice loud repetitive rattle coming from the back end that echos throughout the tiny ass cab. so it gets me thinking about alternative forms of transportation. Bus? Carpool? Walk? Lightrail? Cab? …. fucks no. crazy people; need friends; too lazy; not anywhere near places i need to get to; and too expensive respectively.
so what else? the solution to all my problems? a super power. which one? …. the only one of course:
Teleportation
… and i’m being real. there is no better way of getting around and it is the single best super power possible. i can argue it for days, but it’s usually a quick one. here’s why….
cheap transport. never late. no cost. avoid fights. instant vacations. quick bootycalls. solo. no traffic.
…. other better powers you say? bring it. here are some i thought of that barely stack up.
power to fly: great idea, but slow in comparison. plus you’re that douchebag that’s flying all over the place and that’s just going to bring attention to yourself. that and apparently there’s a mandatory cape involved.
super speed: awesome, but then i’m still running around all the fackin time. never able to wear a suit cause i’d get it all soaked through with swass. i’d be that idiot walking into work with my backsack changing in the 3rd stall. definitely too sans-class for an up and coming big deal like myself.
read minds: mainly doesnt fix my muffler issue, but still noteworthy. doesnt stack up because i don’t want to hear stupid people talk about stupid things so why would i want to hear the shit they havent yet filtered through that part of the brain that justifies an audible action.
super strength: again doesnt fit my circumstances, but comes up often. fuck that. always having dumbasses challenging it. plus i’m still walking and taking a g’damn bus.
… but to top it off. i can do more honorable things in an hour than Superman, Spiderman, and Batman combined without the ridiculous costume. and what distressed damsel wouldnt want to be saved by a short haired champ in jeans and a nice T compared to some dude in tights and a mask (or w/out glasses in the case of that well thought out disguise Super came up with). and that doesnt even take into account my moral flexibility.
The reason for this tangent? X-men drei is about to hit and i have to drop three bills on something just to keep my car quiet. fackin cars.